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the backseat.
    “Except I don’t remember any of it,” I whispered to myself as she made her way to the driver’s side.
    When she sat in the seat, she looked down at the keys in her hand, not yet pushing them into the ignition. “I get that Ralph will be upset if you don’t want to go. But you don’t have to. I really want to shield you from the world.” She jangled the keys in her hands.
    “Why? It’s okay.” I stared at Dex’s clothes. I wasn’t comfortable. I felt like it wasn’t me. Because it wasn’t. I was an imposter; I dressed like him, looked like him, but I wasn’t him. And Tracey still loved me. So did Ralph. I could stand being the center of attention in my itchy sweater for a few hours for them.
Noble.
I thought back on the Angel of Death’s perception of me. Had he been right?
    “I guess I’m feeling a little protective. I don’t know. I’m being stupid.” She shook her head, as if she were getting rid of the ‘stupid’ inside of it.
    “It’s not stupid,” I said, wanting her to be comfortable enough to tell me how she felt. “What’s stupid is this itchy sweater I’m wearing.”
    She started the car with a chuckle. “It’s actually one of your favorites. Cost me a pretty penny, that one did.”
    “Why did I dress like this? And why the shiny car that I hate to get dirty?” What I wanted to ask was how she could even stand someone like Dexter. He seemed to be a puzzle to me. In a superficial relationship, his life full of superficial things.
    One thing was certain: I wouldn’t be living the way he had. I didn’t want that sort of relationship. In fact, my body craved the relationship I’d died being in. Sure, I could hardly remember that love. But I was sure when I saw it, I’d know it. There was no way I wouldn’t recognize it. I was living for it.
    “It’s what you liked. The car was your dad’s, but I think it made you feel more adult. I think it was a control thing. You lost your parents; your life was out of control. You became an adult overnight.” She drove through the town with a personal sense of direction, and while some things tickled the back of my mind, most of it was a blur of buildings I couldn’t connect with.
    “I feel like I’m stuck in some Charles Dickens fantasy land. But instead of having ghosts of past, present, and future, I’m stuck with the sins of another life.”
    “Sins?” She looked at me with a frown before watching the road again. “You’re still growing up, Dex. Stop being so hard on yourself.”
    I had no idea what Dexter had gone through, and despite being in his shoes now, I knew nothing about the way things were before. I only knew what happened since I’d woken up. The rest of the ride to the high school was silent.
    When we neared, I saw the packed parking lot and my nerves hit me with sudden force. I was struck by the knowledge that I’d have to see people and most likely interact with them. I wondered if they knew about my “amnesia” and what they’d heard about the accident. Was it too late to turn back? They’d blame me. I’d blame me. It was stupid to have run out in the middle of the road.
    “You positive you want to do this?” she whispered after she slid smoothly into a parking spot away from the other cars.
    “I feel like you’re trying to talk me out of it. More and more I’m wanting to escape back into my room where everything makes sense. Well, most things.” I looked out into the crowd of people buying their tickets. “But we have to go in. Ralph deserves it.” I opened the door and pushed myself out of the car, reaching back to grab my crutches. With them tucked safely under my arms, I turned and we headed to the gaggle of people who’d already begun to notice me.
    A few of them stared, some whispered, but more often than not, they nodded and smiled. And when I reached them, some spoke, wishing me well and telling me they were happy I could make it.
    “See? Nothing to be worried about,”