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googling terms like
coma, broken neck,
but remembers the time she googled
stomach pain
and it came back with frightening results like bowel cancer, intestinal cancer, Crohn’s disease. Despite this, she finds herself typing
prognosis for coma patients
into the search box. Better to be prepared for the worst.

12
    Another sleepless night. Lucy stares at the ceiling, dry-eyed and remembering how it was with her and Carl. How exciting it was in the beginning. How it went from anticipation to something more.
    One night after they’d been seeing each other for several weeks, they went out for dinner — not the usual all-you-can-eat places that most of her friends went to on dates but a real restaurant, with a menu and a wine list. She shook her head at his offer of alcohol; she didn’t really drink and, besides, she was underage. He ordered a beer. It surprised her — being on P plates, he had a blood alcohol limit of zero — but she said nothing.
    After dinner they went back to his house. His parents were already in bed. She was staying overnight in the spare room, as a group of them were heading to a music festival in the morning. He led her to the room and fussed around, making sure she had everything.
    â€˜Alright,’ he said eventually, ‘goodnight.’
    â€˜Goodnight,’ she said from the bed, where she was nervously perched, sensing that something was about to happen. He leaned down and kissed her, the same deep and exciting kisses as before, and then dropped his hands to her breasts. She was excited, so she let him, but flinched in surprise as his hands slid her dress down and worked her bra off. But he continued to be gentle, although the intensity of his kisses increased. She lay back on the bed as he rested above her, feeling her body, kissing her face and neck.
    â€˜So beautiful,’ he murmured against her skin. He was totally hard; she couldn’t ignore it against her leg. Her dress was bunched around her waist, her bra off and all that was between them were her lace knickers and his Levis.
    She felt his fingers under the elastic of herknickers and tensed. He immediately stopped. ‘Okay?’ he asked, his dark brown eyes looking into hers. She nodded, ignoring the confusion in her head. Yes, she wanted this. But what if? What? Then his fingers were touching her and she was telling herself to relax.
    â€˜Show me,’ he whispered into her hair. And despite her embarrassment, she guided his hands until he got it right.
    Afterwards, he lay next to her, his erection still visible through his jeans.
    â€˜Bedtime,’ he said, kissing her again. She nodded, almost surprised he hadn’t wanted her to return the favour, but relieved as well.

13
    In the morning Lucy wakes to waves of nausea. She rushes to her toilet, heaves violently, then slumps, exhausted, against the toilet bowl. She wants to think it’s something bad she’s eaten, but she hasn’t eaten much at all. A sudden thought occurs to her and it is terrifying.
    At recess she is sitting outside the common room with Ben and Big Al. It’s a beautiful day, warm and sunny. Lucy kicks her shoes off and lets the sun hit her legs.
    â€˜Mr Tan is coping pretty well with JD’s condition,’ Ben says. ‘But he’s really worried that JD is convinced Carl’s dead, despite what everyone tells him.’
    â€˜Oh.’ Lucy watches a line of ants, some carrying food pieces ten times their size. They are awesome to watch. ‘Why?’
    â€˜At the crash he couldn’t get Carl to speak. Didn’t know he was just unconscious, I guess. Mr Tan says we can go Saturday afternoon — asked if you wanted to come too.’
    â€˜I’ve got work tonight and Saturday,’ she says, evasively. She wants to see JD but is also scared.
    â€˜JD specifically asked for you,’ Al says softly.
    She wants to look away but knows how that will make her appear.