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just a bunch of women in a G-rated movie, singing songs, completely clothed, about washing men right out of their hair.
    So SHIT ! We went back to watching soap operas. We went back to watching the shows about women who were married and trapped by their psycho, maniac husbands.
    He watched women having their children taken away by philandering husbands. The husbands made it look like the women went crazy and committed them to insane asylums.
    But there was one woman in particular he was obsessed with. She was a woman who was the most beautiful woman on the show.
    He even had a picture of her from TV Guide taped up on the paneling beside his bed in the hall.
    I watched him during his nap and he used to stare at her for hours like she was the one he loved.
     
     
    I sat at the table with him one day and he started pointing at the newspaper beneath his chair (Ruby always put newspapers down in case Nathan spilled something). He used to sit at the table and struggle to eat a spoonful of mashed up food, or drink from a bottle of 7UP. So now he struggled with the bottle and Ruby whispered: “Now Nathan don’t you get choked.”
    So he drank and finally pointed again to the newspaper beneath his chair and giggled.
    Then Ruby talked for him and told me what he was saying. “Old Nathan says he wants to get him a woman out of the personal ads.”
    Nathan giggled.
     
    I sat and laughed at him and said: “Oh god, Nathan. There’s no sense in you looking for a woman. These women are all liberated today from what I hear.”
    Nathan laughed at me and wagged his finger around and around his head like we were all crazy.
    “I know you don’t want a crazy one.”
    Ruby said, “No, he’s looking for a crazy one.”
    Then he held his arms out wide. He wanted a big fat crazy woman.
    I said: “Yeah, Nathan, you’re gonna have a hard time finding you a woman who’s gonna feed you let alone give you a bath.”
    Ruby said: “He don’t care, just as long as he gets him one without a ring on her finger.”
    I said: “Well, Nathan, I’m sorry to tell you but there’s probably not too many out there looking for a 50-year-old man who still lives with his mother. They usually want a man who has his own place.”
    Nathan giggled and pointed to his bedroom with a look on his face like— Oh I have a place of my own .
     
    I wrote to one of them in the personal ads. We waited for weeks. We waited another week.
     
    She never wrote back.
     
    The next month Medicare gave him what he wanted though. Medicare sent over a home health nurse to help three days out of the week. Nathan had a look in his eyes that said, Thank god for fucking Medicare.
     
    Her name was…

RHONDA
    The first day she was there Rhonda walked by the table and Nathan smacked her on the butt.
    Rhonda stopped and said: “Nathan you better keep your hands to yourself or I’m gonna tell your momma on you.”
    And then Ruby laughed from her La-Z-Boy behind the table and said: “Yeah old Nathan, he likes the women.”
    Then he smiled and laughed and threw his head back, circling his long skinny finger around and around his noggin which meant: You’re crazy. You’re crazy .
    Then he pointed to the big ceramic hog on the table with the giant balls.
    “What?” Rhonda said.
    “Nathan says his man parts are like that hog,” I told her.
    He tried smacking her on the butt again. So Rhonda twisted Nathan’s ear and went to put in a load of laundry. Then she did the next chore Ruby had lined up for her.
     
    Over the next couple of years she started doing all kinds of things.
    She cooked the dinner.
    She washed the dishes.
    She cleaned off all of Ruby’s knick knacks.
    She made the beds.
    She ran the sweeper.
    She moved the knick knacks so Ruby could see ’em better.
    She ran the sweeper.
    She picked up the medicine over in Rainelle.
    She stopped at Rogers’ grocery for Nathan’s bananas.
    She came back and cooked supper.
    She washed the dishes.
    She cleaned the