Country Driving: A Journey Through China From Farm to Factory

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Book: Read Country Driving: A Journey Through China From Farm to Factory for Free Online
Authors: Peter Hessler
Tags: Asia, Travel, china
prepare people for driving in China. In fact the trick is to study the wrong answers. They describe common traffic maneuvers with such vividness that you can practically see the faces behind the wheel:
    81. After passing another vehicle, you should
a) wait until there is a safe distance between the two vehicles, make a right-turn signal, and return to the original lane.
b) cut in front of the other car as quickly as possible.
c) cut in front of the other car and then slow down.
    117. When approaching a marked pedestrian crossing, you should
a) slow down and stop if there are pedestrians.
b) accelerate in order to catch up with the car directly in front of you, and then cross closely behind him.
c) drive straight through, because pedestrians should give vehicles the right of way.
    80. If, while preparing to pass a car, you notice that it is turning left, making a U-turn, or passing another vehicle, you should
a) pass on the right.
b) not pass.
c) honk, accelerate, and pass on the left.
    Lots of answers involve honking. In a Chinese automobile, the horn is essentially neurological—it channels the driver’s reflexes. People honk constantly, and at first all horns sound the same, but over time you learn to interpret them. In this sense it’s as complicated as the language. Spoken Chinese is tonal, which means that a single sound like ma has different meanings depending on whether it’s flat, rising, falling and rising, or falling sharply. A single Chinese horn, on the other hand, can mean at least ten distinct things. A solid hooooonnnnkkkkk is intended to attract attention. A double sound— hooooonnnnkkkkk, hooooonnnnkkkkk— indicates irritation. There’s a particularly long hooooooooonnnnnnnnnkkkkkk that means that the driver is stuck in bad traffic, has exhausted curb-sneaking options, and would like everybody else on the road to disappear. A responding hooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkk proves they aren’t going anywhere. There’s a stuttering, staggering honk honk hnk hnk hnk hnk hnk hnk that represents pure panic. There’s the afterthought honk —the one that rookie drivers make if they were too slow to hit the button before a situation resolved itself. And there’s a short basic honk that simply says: My hands are still on the wheel, and this horn continues to serve as an extension of my nervous system. Other honks appear on the exam:
    353. When passing an elderly person or a child, you should
a) slow down and make sure you pass safely.
b) continue at the same speed.
c) honk the horn to tell them to watch out.
    269. When you enter a tunnel, you should
a) honk and accelerate.
b) slow down and turn on your lights.
c) honk and maintain speed.
    355. When driving through a residential area, you should
a) honk like normal.
b) honk more than normal, in order to alert residents.
c) avoid honking, in order to avoid disturbing residents.
    I PICKED UP MY first hitchhiker on the way to Smash the Hu. At sunrise I had taken down my tent, and after studying the map I decided to try a route that paralleled the north side of the Ming wall. This turned out to be the worst road thus far—it began as a dirt track, high on the mountain, and then it descended steeply. Water runoff had badly rutted the surface; the City Special lurched and groaned. To my left, the Great Wall perched neatly atop a ridgeline—it seemed to float effortlessly while I banged down the broken road. Halfway to the valley floor, a young woman stood beside the dirt track, waving madly. I rolled down the window.
    “Where are you going?” she asked.
    “Smash the Hu, then Slaughter the Hu,” I said. In Chinese those village names really roll off the tongue.
    “Can I get a ride to Smash the Hu?”
    “No problem,” I said, pushing open the door. The woman carried a sack of fresh pork, the fatty meat glistening white and pink against the plastic. She set it on the floor and hesitated before entering.
    “How much is it?” she said.
    “How much is

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