was shockedâ¦and slightly horrified. Of every woman I knew, Jade was the only one who never got snubbed by a guy. Men always called Jade. She was my one last hope that women didnât have to forevermore be left waiting by the phone. Good grief. What did this mean for the rest of us if Jade, the Ãber-Single Girl, was having trouble getting to date number two?
Understanding all too well the frustration that followed such blow-offs, I offered the one thing every woman who has been left hanging by a man always needs: anger. âClearly heâs an asshole.â
âHmm.â
âOr gay. Or mentally deficient. I mean, what kind of moron goes out with a beautiful, intelligent girl like you and then neglects to pick up the phone, even just to tell her heâs happy sheâs alive and he had the opportunity to spend a few hours in her presence?â
âHe probably couldnât handle the fact that I beat him in two out of three games of pool.â
âWimp.â
There were a few moments of silence, while we ruminated over the question of how Ted Terrific had taken a turn for the worse.
âMaybe I was too aggressive,â Jade offered.
âYouâre kidding, right? Jade, Iâm sure you did nothingââ
âI did invite him up. I mean, not to sleep with him or anything. But Iâd just gotten the new Jamiroquai CD, and I knew he was into the same kind of music, soâ¦â
âDid he come up?â
âNo. He said he had to get up early. Gave me this killer kiss in front of my building, then took off. It just doesnât make sense. The whole night, right down to that kiss, was amazing. We had drinks, shot pool and talked like weâd known each other all our lives. We liked the same music, hated the same clubs. I couldnât believe how well we clicked. How much we had in common. And the chemistryâ¦forget about it! I wish he had come up, so at least we could have had sex before he disappeared. Iâm sure it would have been nothing less than incredible.â
In truth, I was stumped, but concluded that maybe we had just assumed things all wrong. âMaybe heâll still call. What night did you guys go out?â
âLast Saturday. As in the weekend before last. Granted, I did leave town on Thursday to go on a shoot for the weekend, but he didnât know that. I came home on Sunday morning to no message.â
It didnât look good. One week, okay. But to go to week two without even a quick hello-had-a-great-time-wish-I-could-see-you-again-when-Iâm-less-busy call, was not a good sign. He was history. âMaybe he got hit by the Second Avenue bus. Doesnât it run right past your gym? He could have been coming out late, after a workout, and wham-o.â
âYeah. If heâs lucky.â
I knew we would never truly find an answer. Why He Didnât Call was one of the great mysteries of single life. A life, I realized, I was now reluctantly a part of.
Â
Confession: Marriageâany marriageâis beginning to look good.
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As if the idea of newly tackling single life wasnât exhausting enough, the next day at work I was forced to take on the facade of one of the Happily Coupled-Off when Rebecca dropped by my cubicle to regale me with tales of her romance-filled evening with her boyfriend, Nash. âHe just seems different lately,â she said with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. âMore committed. â Then she went on to tell me about the great little French restaurant on the Upper East Side where theyâd had dinner the night before. âMaybe if you and Derrick ever venture uptown,â she added, âwe could all go to dinner there together sometime.â To which I responded, with what I hoped was a convincing smile, that maybe we would, all the while knowing that it would be a miracle if Derrick ever ventured to the East Coast again, never mind the Upper East Side.
By the time I