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says he’s seen it happening before.”
    “No.”
    “Many times, he’s seen it happen many times. Mostly in communities like ours, places that are cut off from the rest of the world, rural places, quiet places. But sometimes he’s seen it happen in cities. Whole neighborhoods swallowed by a god like ours. He’s spent years trying to stop it happening, to warn people. Sometimes he succeeds and sometimes he doesn’t.”
    I can’t take all this in. I don’t want to. “Why did he tell you? Why did he find you both and no one else?”
    “He says we’re special.”
    “Special.” I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or hit them.
    “We don’t know why. Maybe because we’re twins. He wasn’t clear. But he said we were special, and we ought to get a chance to save ourselves. And if we did, he’d help us.”
    “What do you mean a chance to save yourselves?”
    But I know. I’ve known all day what they’re planning. I just can’t believe they’d really do it. I’ve always thought they loved the god deeply, completely, without question. They chose to become companions of Father Nerve. They want to become Fathers of the faith themselves when they’re older. What could Theo have possibly said to change their minds… to change their entire lives?
    “We want you to come with us, Enna,” says Ray.
    “I can’t.”
    “We love you. Please.”
    I shake my head. My heart is breaking. It’s the worst betrayal.
    “We’ll look after you. We’ll protect you. We’ll make a life away from all this. It doesn’t matter about your… about your coldness, or whatever you call it. We want to be with you.”
    “What part of no don’t you understand? I am faith full, unlike the pair of you!” I’m shouting. I never shout. “I love the god. I serve the god.”
    The twins exchange looks. Then they both lean in and kiss my cheeks.
    “We love you, Enna. If you run, we’ll be waiting for you. This doesn’t have to be the end.”
     
     
    T HEY LEAVE an hour later. They hot-wire a car belonging to one of the faith full and drive away into the night.
    I know I should tell someone, but I don’t. In my heart I know it’s my fault they left. It’s my fault because I couldn’t love them the way men should be loved by women. If I was normal—if my flesh burned warm, not cold—we would all be sitting in the ranch on a bunk together, eagerly waiting for the god to rise. We would be prayer full. We would be faith full.
    We would be happy.

5
     
    N O ONE mentions the twins the next day.
    I don’t know if that’s because no one has noticed they’re gone, or because their lack of faith is too shameful to acknowledge.
    I want to talk to Father Nerve, but he’s busy with Father Piedmont and the other leaders of the faith. I hear rumors that the Bishop has arrived in the night, but I don’t see any sign of him. Mrs. Piedmont catches me pacing aimlessly up and down outside the ranch house and gives me a list of jobs to do. Fill buckets with water so people can bathe. Chop vegetables for lunch. Clean up outside as best I can.
    The last job is the worst. While the Piedmonts have accommodated many of the faith full inside the ranch, many more have had to spend the night outside. The stench has caused many of them to be ill. There is vomit everywhere. There are also not enough toilet facilities—the Piedmonts only have two toilets and both are inside. People have dug holes in the ground and covered up after themselves like dogs.
    As I walk around the area, armed with a rake and a mop, I feel like I’ve stepped into a war zone. Already people are filthy, their clothes and faces covered in red dust. They aren’t complaining, though. Instead they sit on the ground and pray, amid muck and filth, to the waking god.
    I’m sick a few times myself, but I manage to hold it in for long enough to get a good way away from the main camping site.
    Just before lunch, a car drives up in a cloud of dust. A pair of teenage girls gets out.