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he shivered with excitement like he was shaking out his heebie jeebies.
    “More precisely, you exiled me,” he said. “When you carved out the Hathaway brand.”
    John pointed at the makeshift bandage on her thigh. The red dot of blood had widened almost to the edges of the cloth.
    “That had nothing to do with you,” Saru said. “It was an implant. I didn’t want it inside of me.”
    “Your connection to SaialqlaiaS is strong,” John said, with a wince. “When you mutilated yourself I felt your pain, and your anger, and…many sensations…” he trailed off, wistfully. He shivered again, and then took a breath, and gathered himself into a semblance of control.
    “The Gaespora cut me off, you see. Severed. They could not risk your influence spreading. I am no longer a part of the shared consciousness. I feel very…strange.”
    A tear slid from John’s eye, and then another, and he was crying. This Saru had no idea how to deal with, and so she fished around the minibar for another bottle, coming back with a beautiful, gold-hued scotch. She drank, John cried, they flew.
    The sun appeared, poking his dumb head up over the black smog, and turning it gray like ash. Saru was blinded for a few minutes, before the invisible walls adjusted, and dimmed the world around them. By the time she could see again, the sun had risen above the smog and chased away the stars. She found the empty vodka bottle, positioned it as best she could, and relieved herself—sweet Jesus yes, oh thank God. John’s head darted over at the sound, and then sprung back to fix itself straight ahead, until the tinkling music had ended.
    “I apologize,” John said. He wiped at his tears. “Independence is a novel experience for me.” He held up his hand and marveled at it, like he was high as hell. And who knew? Maybe he was. “I cannot remember being alone like this before. In my own head. It is very quiet here. And also very loud. There are phantom memories. I reach for knowledge that is no longer there. In its place I find memories of my own from long ago.” He frowned at nothing, and then his face stretched into an expression of purest bliss. He laughed, heartily. “Melancholy. Sadness. Excreting water from the eyes, venting stress, mechanical relief.” He nodded to himself. The expression of bliss vanished. His features sank into misery, which hardened into resolve.
    “Options,” he said. “I do not think I ever realized there were options. They were all hiding behind the rules. So many options. Blocked by so many rules. The rules were there, blinding me, walls that hid all the options. An entire dimension of options hidden behind those walls. Then you came and you cut the brand from your flesh. I had never seen anything like it. It had never even entered my mind that such a rebellion was possible. Like an animal gnawing off its own leg to escape a trap. The shared consciousness of the Gaespora is vast, but hierarchical. Many thoughts are verboten. It should be so,” he said, assertively. “There are stupid thoughts in the lonely mind.” He knocked his fist against his skull. “Useless thoughts. Saboteur thoughts. Masochism. Rumination. Narcissism. Doubt. Annoyance. Lust. It is all stupid. And yet in that forest of stupidity was the option that I never could have seen. To cut out the brand. To escape. Your stupid thinking freed me.”
    “I’m touched,” Saru spat. “But you still haven’t given me one good reason to trust your ass.”
    “Trust,” John murmured. “Action nurtures trust. Reason buys credence. Let us not aim to trust one another so quickly. I believe we share a motive. You are now a batterer, a thief, and a fugitive. I am at the very least your accomplice. I desire to escape the grasp of the Hathaways, as do you.”
    “The difference is that when the Hathaways catch me , they’ll slit my throat, and when they catch you , you can run and hide under ElilE’s skirt.”
    “Is that what you think? I fear you