Read Close Encounters of the Third-Grade Kind for Free Online Page B

“In a friendly letter, the
     date goes on the upper right side of your paper. But try not to write in the margin.”
    “What’s a margin?” Gina asked.
    “The space on the side of your paper.” I grabbed a sheet of binder paper off my desk and pointed to the left margin. “
This
is the left margin. See the pink line.” Everyone looked down at the pink lines on their papers. I moved my finger to the
     other side. “And
this
is the right margin. There’s a pink line there, too, but it’s harder to see. Can you all see it?” Everyone leaned in.
    “I see it!” John shouted.
    “I see it!” Kevin echoed.
    “Me, too!” Emily burst out.
    I went on. “The reason the pink line is so light is because it’s on the other side of the paper.”
    As soon as I said this, the entire class turned their papers over at the same time and started chattering.
    THIRD-GRADE FACT: Finding the pink line on the back of a piece of binder paper is a very important discovery.
    “Okay,” I said, “now we are all going to write the date.”
    I wrote it on the board:
September 10, 2008.
    “Make sure you put a comma after the
10,
” I instructed. “A comma
always
goes after the day.”
    “Can we write…” John cringed as he tried to think of the right word. “Can we… you know… make it smaller?”
    I helped him out. “You mean — may you
abbreviate
?”
    THIRD-GRADE FACT: Abbreviating is more fun than writing the whole word out.
    I shook my head. “Sorry. I’d like you to practice writing the whole word.”
    “Can we write 9 slash 10?” Laura asked, making a hand movement for the slash.
    THIRD-GRADE FACT: Making slashes is even more fun than abbreviating.
    “Not today,” I answered. “I want you all to practice writing the date out entirely.”
    I moved on. “Okay now, I’d like all of you to write today’s date on the top line. And try to not write in the margin.”
    I knew exactly what would happen next. When kids first write the date on the top line of their letters, they
never
allow themselves enough room. An eight-year-old will begin writing the date in his normal penmanship. But when he is about
     halfway through, he will realize that he is quickly approaching THE PINK LINE. Determined to not cross it, he will start to
     write smaller and smaller, eventually stacking letters one on top of the other. When he is finished writing the whole date,
     it will look like it just crashed into a pink wall. Unhappy with the way that this has turned out, the child will then begin
     erasing his paper with the same force that one uses to clean a dirty pan with an S.O.S pad. The paper will tear. He will ask
     for a second piece, upon which he will start writing the date in the exact same place he did on the first one.
    After my students wrote the date (and I handed out more paper), I continued with the lesson.
    “The next part of our letter,” I explained, “is the
Greeting.
The greeting is where you write
Dear Mom and Dad.
” I pointed to the left side of my large letter. “The greeting begins on
this
side of the paper. It goes on the next line after the date.” I wrote
Dear Mom and Dad
on the board. “Does anyone know what mark follows the greeting?”
    “A comma,” Laura answered.
    “Very good. In a friendly letter, the greeting is always followed by a comma.” I drew a gigantic comma after
Dad.
It was bigger than my head. The kids burst out laughing. “This is our second comma.” I pointed to both of them. “See?” Then,
     putting my cap back on my marker, I turned and faced the kids. “Okay, next I’d like you all to write
Dear Mom and Dad
on your papers. And…” I paused. “Don’t forget the comma.”
    Now, you’d think that writing
Dear Mom and Dad
would be easy. It’s only four words plus one little comma, right? Wrong. Do you know how many variations there are on these
     four words? Thirty-three! And
that’s
if the children know how to spell
dear
(which they don’t). Every year I see all