not,â she whispered, feeling another sharp slice of pain. Scandal was the one thing Walter wouldnât tolerate. The idea of his friends and business associates knowing about his wifeâs affair would have been unbearable for him. He hadnât hidden the truth because of his desire to protect and love her, but to save himself embarrassment.
This explained a lot, she told herself, her mind racing, darting from one thought to the next so quickly she could hardly keep up. As a girl, she had dreamed of a daddy who doted on her. After all, she was the youngest in the family by quite a bit. The youngest of her older brothers was still fifteen years older than she. Erica had grown up practically an only child. Her brothers were out and building lives of their own by the time she was a teenager.
But Walter had never been the kind of father sheâd yearned for. At last, she knew why. And Erica wondered sadly if Don Jarrod would have been any different. He wasâor had beenâmuch like Walter, a businessman first last and always. And yetâ¦
âHe wanted me,â she said softly, more to herself than to Walter.
âHe wanted to ruin me, â Walter told her flatly. Some of the hot color drained from his features. âHe tried to convince your mother to leave me. Go with him to that backwater out in the country. But she knew what was best. What was right.â He noddedwith satisfaction. âBesides, I told her I wouldnât hold her mistake against her.â
âNo,â Erica said softly. âYou held it against me.â
He stared at her. âI beg your pardon?â
Ericaâs pain was enveloped by a rising tide of regret and sadness. âFather, my whole life youâve looked at me with barely concealed revulsion.â
âNot true,â he said, but his gaze slipped to one side, avoiding her eyes.
Even now, he couldnât look at her. Couldnât meet her gaze and admit to the truth. But she wouldnât play the game anymore. She finally understood why sheâd always been a little less worthy than her brothers and that in itself was liberating.
âYes,â she said, âit is. I used to wonder what Iâd done that was so wrong. So awful to make you dislike me so much.â
âI donât dislike you, Erica,â he said, surprise coloring his voice. âI love you.â
She wished she could believe that, but with her heart aching it was simply impossible. âYouâve never acted as if you do.â
He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. âIâm not an emotional man, Erica, but you should be well aware of my feelings.â
âUntil this moment, I wasnât sure you had any,â Erica snapped, then lifted one hand to cover her mouth, almost as stunned as he was that sheâd said such a thing.
He looked at her as if she was someone he didnât even recognize, and to be fair, Erica thought, she could understand his reaction. In her whole life, sheâd neveronce spoken back to him this way. Stood up for herself. Always, she had tried to be the perfect daughter. To win a smile or a nod of approval from him. At this moment though, none of that meant anything to her. Right now, all she felt was her own hurt. Her own disappointment. Her own wish that things were different.
âErica,â he said, that deep voice rumbling out around her as it had since her childhood. âI am your father in every way that matters. Havenât I always been here for you? Didnât I raise you? Have you ever wanted for anything?â
âOnly your love,â she said, voice catching as she finally admitted to him that sheâd felt that lack her whole life.
âHow can you say that?â His shocked expression told her exactly how surprised he was by her words.
The tears that sheâd managed to hold at bay all day finally began to show themselves. Irritated by their arrival, Erica quickly swiped them
Larry Kramer, Reynolds Price