it was
going to be a family effort! And the only way I had a chance of making
that happen was to work on establishing a deeper relationship with my husband other than as his occasional bed-warmer.
An image of the queen’s sneering face flashed into my mind, and I scowled.
If that was the way she acted with Sethian, then maybe my goal wouldn’t be as
difficult as climbing Mt. Everest in the middle of winter.
No—I just have to get through tonight without ever letting on how
sick I’m feeling , I thought in despair.
It would have to be an Oscar-worthy performance, and unfortunately, I
was never a good actress at the best of times. Having to eat dinner with
him with a queasy stomach would be absolute torture!
Even so, I needed to talk with him without a baby clouding the issue. I
didn’t want to ever feel like he was just humoring me because he didn’t want me
upset for the baby’s sake. That would be infinitely worse than completely
ignoring me. I didn’t want one of the most important relationships of my life
to be a lie.
But first things first—I had to get off the damn floor before Lariel
and the others could find me!
Just climbing to my knees almost had me hurling again, but I just
gritted my teeth, and using the marble ledge of the toilet/aqueduct as a crutch,
climbed back onto my feet with a stubbornness I had only exhibited a handful of
times in my life. Don’t cry when the schoolyard bullies pull on your double
braids like they were reigning in a horse; don’t cry at your mother’s funeral
or you may never stop; don’t hurl just because an elven king knocked you up and
you now have a little morning sickness…
Once on my feet, my nausea subsided enough that I felt I could walk
over to the pitcher of water across the room without sending me running to the
aqueduct again. Finally being able to rinse out my mouth also improved my level
of nausea to where I felt I might just be able to ignore it and act fairly
normal after all. The only problem would be the breakfast I would be expected
to eat in a few minutes.
I frowned thoughtfully. Maybe being forced to eat breakfast wouldn’t be
the tragedy it seemed. If I became queasy again, then maybe I could convince
them that it was just nerves and that I had no appetite as a result. Lariel had
remarked before that I always seemed to be in a perpetual state of anxiety and
that she wished I would relax more, so there was definitely a precedent
established.
If anything, it would at least give me the practice I needed before my
dinner date because if I couldn’t manage to fool my ladies-in-waiting, then
there was no way in hell I would be able to fool Sethian. I knew better than to
hope that my nausea would subside by this evening; life had never granted me
any favors, and I really doubted it would start now at the moment when I really really needed a favor.
I splashed some cool water over my face, hoping it would add a little
color to my undoubtedly pale face, before I carefully left the bathroom and
headed back to my dressing table. It was a relief to be sitting down again as
my stomach decided to give another unpleasant lurch at that moment as if to
remind me who really was the one in charge. After taking several deep,
shuddering breaths to keep the dry heaving at bay, I pushed aside my bowl of
grapes as far from my sight as possible and grabbed my hand mirror.
Did my complexion still look a little green? Were my eyes dull or a
little too bright? In the low light of a single lamp in my windowless bedroom,
I couldn’t really tell. Maybe I could pass off looking a little sickly as
nerves, too. Thank God Lariel had already seen me before I had puked my guts
up. If I had gotten sick during the night, there would have been no hiding it
from her, no passing it off as nerves. I swear elf ears could hear a pin drop
ten miles away…
“I can do this,” I muttered to my reflection, but I didn’t look very
convinced.
The front door to my apartment suddenly