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farms west of Miami. Now all those cute little buggers have grown into fierce levithanians, some of them twenty feet long!”
    “Cut!” the director called.
    “What’s wrong?” snapped Derek. “That bit was totally brilliant.”
    “The word is ‘leviathan,’ not ‘levithanian.’ ”
    They attempted the scene nine more times, but Derek couldn’t get the pronunciation right. Finally the director gave up. “Forget it, okay? Just say ‘monster’ instead.”
    Derek nailed it on the first take:
    “Now all those cute little snakes have grown into voracious monsters, some of them twenty feet long! They can swallow a whole deer, a panther and, yes, even a human being
.
    “Today I’m crawling through the most remote, untouched and dangerous stretch of the Everglades, following the trail of an enormous wild python—and look! There she is!”
    With a cameraman on his heels, Derek wriggled forward and pounced with a triumphant cry upon Beulah. He locked both hands two feet below her head, which is just about the worst place to grab a snake. Wahoo was surprised that Beulah didn’t twist around and sink her chompers into Derek’s fat face.
    “I’ve got her! I’ve caught the beast!”
he crowed.
    The python wasn’t particularly concerned. She hookedher tail around one of Derek’s ankles but didn’t even tighten up. Grunting and huffing, he rolled back and forth on the ground, shaking Beulah by the neck, trying to provoke her to fight back.
    It was like wrestling a fourteen-foot noodle. All Beulah wanted to do was curl up and take a nap.
    Wahoo glanced at his father and didn’t like what he saw. Mickey Cray was clenching and unclenching his fists.
    Derek panted into the microphone:
    “Whatever happens, I can’t let this jungle killer wrap her massive coils around my chest! She would literally crush the life out of me!”
    Mickey turned to his son. “That’s what
I’m
fixin’ to do,” he whispered. “Literally.”
    “No, Pop, wait—”
    It was too late. Wahoo’s dad hurled himself furiously at Derek Badger, but the double vision caused him to miss.
    Mickey got up, dusted off and tried again. This time he scored a direct hit, clinching both arms around Derek’s pudgy midsection. He dragged him away from the dizzy python and began to squeeze with all his might.
    “Cut! Cut!” cried the director. “Are you nuts? Somebody stop this lunatic!”
    The crew members seemed entertained by the scuffle. No one except Wahoo made a move to rescue Derek. By the time Wahoo was able to unfasten his dad, the famous survivalist’s face had turned the color of cranberries. He was downon all fours, coughing and whimpering with Raven Stark at his side, brushing the leaves and twigs from his hair.
    “Now you’ve done it,” Wahoo said.
    His father looked somber. “Let’s move Beulah back to her tank.”
    Mickey took the front half while Wahoo hoisted the tail section.
    “That’s the worst excuse for a python I ever saw!” It was Derek, lurching to his feet. “You call that a snake? Ha! I call it an overstuffed earthworm.”
    Beulah opened her shovel-sized mouth and burped, displaying rows of hook-shaped teeth. Derek cringed and hopped backward.
    “Take a hike,” advised Mickey Cray.
    “What?”
    “You heard me, Dork Man.”
    Raven stood speechless. Wahoo noticed one of the cameramen chuckling.
    Derek stiffened. “Listen, mate, we’ve got a contract.”
    “Are you kidding?” said Mickey.
    Wahoo and his dad began hauling the hefty python toward the snake tanks.
    “Hey! What about the gator?” Derek Badger shouted after them.
    “Over my dead body,” Mickey said.
    “Three grand for a scene with Alice! Cash!”
    “Pop, you hear that?” Wahoo whispered.
    “Hear what?”
    “Thirty-five hundred!” Derek called out.
    “Pop, come on.”
    “Keep walking.”
    “Four grand!” cried Derek. “Four thousand dollars!”
    Mickey Cray turned around, smiling. “
That
I heard.”

SIX
    Wahoo sat at the kitchen