war? ”
“ Not the shooting
part, ” he said. “ Won ’ t let us do that. ”
“ You signed up? ” Marie asked. “ Did you really sign up, or just
thinking about it? ”
“ Signed up, so there ’ s no taking it back. Me and a few
others, all together. ” His brow wrinkled. “ I ’ m torn Marie. If not
for the two of you, and that you need me, I ’ d have no regrets at
all. Terrible thing to say, but it ’ s so. Tired of the
bottled up anger. Tired of watching everything I say and do in case it offends
someone who can ’ t be pleased with anything about me.
You know. ”
“ I do know, ” Marie said. The candle
light dipped but came back up again.
“’ Course you do, ” he said, almost too low for Celeste to
hear. “ Still, it ’ s done. Can ’ t take it back even if I wanted — and sitting here with you, that ’ s what I ’ d do. ”
“ How long? ” Celeste asked. “ How long would you be away? ”
His
head rocked back and forth a bit, maybe to say he didn ’ t know at all and was afraid to know
that himself. “ They say that the armies are locked
together like tired out boxers. Neither with enough strength
to knock out the other. We ’ d be the fresh
strength to tip it the right way. It ’ s what they say, but
I can ’ t know for sure. Maybe home before the
year is out. Maybe longer. But at least they ’ d feed and shelter me, give me a new
uniform and boots to wear, so I could send any pay home. You ’ d be provided for and maybe there would
be a little left over. Things could change and be better. Guess that ’ s what I need to believe. Need to
believe that those dreams of yours that brought me to you in the beginning — that brought us Augustin and Celeste -
those dreams will get me home soon. ”
“ You said you didn ’ t believe in all that. ” Her mother ’ s voice was soft, like she was talking
to a child.
“ Guess I ’ m a believer now. ” His eyes closed. “ Best leave me to sleep out here
tonight. ”
“ What about the bears
in the woods? ” Celeste asked.
Marie
rose. The candle wick drowned in the pool of yellow
wax. She held out her hand to Celeste. “ The bears won ’ t trouble him tonight. They ’ ll sleep too. ” She led Celeste in and took an old
blanket back out to Bernard. Celeste watched her from the window as she covered
him up to his shoulders, then stood for a while longer, looking into the tree
or maybe at a star before coming in again to bed Celeste down beside her in
Augustin ’ s old bed.
Over
the next days, her father worked from before sunrise until there was too little
light to work by, fixing things that were broken or nearly so, stockpiling
firewood, clearing away brush, readying the garden and Neighbor for a spring
planting he wouldn ’ t see. For much of it, he had Celeste
at his side. He explained the reason for everything he did.
“ There ’ ll be days when you ’ ll have to be older than your years, ” he said to her as they sat together on
the roof, looking for spots where rain might find its way in sooner or later.
She handed him a nail even before he reached out for it.
“ I know how tired your
mother will get and so do you. Watch her and watch for things that might need
doing. Odette will come by I ’ m sure, and Sandrine
promises to check in as she comes and goes from town. Most times it will just
be the two of you. Don ’ t speak to strangers or let them in.
Don ’ t wander far. And be strong and
cheerful for your mother. ”
“’ Specially if she gets
tired or sad, ” Celeste said.
“ And you know the
signs. Stay close to her especially then. ”
“ You ’ ll write to us. ”
“ You know I will. ”
Before
they climbed down again, her father stood on the roof and look about.
“ Looks different from
up here. ” He helped Celeste to her feet and held
her hand to keep her steady on the pitch. “ Same things.
Different angle of seeing. ”
Celeste
could see the Climbing Oak, Neighbor and the