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was lightened. I could already envision him slumped on my couch. I sighed just so and let Jackie cut me a generous slice.
    I was halfway through it when she leaned onto the counter. “You’re doing really well, Faye. I’m proud of you.”
    “Shut up,” I said, in the sweetest, self-deprecating tone I had to offer. I knew she wasn’t talking about my dietary choices.
    “Why? Because I’m not texting him? Because I was only a little disappointed to see that text wasn’t from him?”
    Jackie’s brow furrowed, and she paused.
    “What is it?”
    She pinched her lower lip between her teeth. “We saw him the other day.”
    My heart dropped through the floor. I swallowed. “Where?”
    “He was at Vinetti’s having dinner.”
    She spoke in the tone of a priest reading last rites. I took a breath. I didn’t want to know the answer to what I was about to ask. Apparently, I’m a masochist. “Was he with someone?”
    Jackie dark eyes met mine, and she frowned. Yes, he had.
    I took a deep breath. “Ah. Guess I know to ignore his texts – if he texts again.”
    The ‘if’ broke my heart all over again. The ‘If’ was the acknowledgement that he might not, that I might never hear from him again, that I never meant anything. Even with his betrayal, somehow the thought of him never reaching out to me was worse. At least it felt worse. It felt worse right then.
    I gave Jackie a hug and headed home, making sure not to crack in her company.
    I was fine. I would show the world that I was just fucking fine. Sure, I was still crying myself to sleep at night, I’d only sent my resume to one job offer, and let’s just say my brain recoiled at the thought of even trying to have an orgasm. I couldn’t help but think of Cole if even the hint of sexual thought crossed my mind. The man that accused me of being obsessed with sex was the reason I was now practically asexual. I wondered if he’d find that ironic.
    I rolled past the air force base and into Concord, shaking off every thought that drilled its way past my stony exterior.
    You can cry when you get home. Cry all you like when you get home.
    Anyone who sees me driving will see a normal person. They don’t need to know I am an empty outline of myself, hardly holding it together.
    When I arrived home, Stellan’s Jeep was outside, and I growled. I’d forgotten his ‘where you at?’ text. Crying on the floor plans thwarted.
    I found him sprawled across the couch.
    He looked up at me as I came through the door . “Glad to see you out of the house, babe.”
    “Yeah, I’m sure. Leaves you free to raid the fridge without disdainful looks.”
    He smiled, turning back toward the TV. “That was disdain? I thought that was undying love.”
    “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re the same thing.”
    I offered him something to eat, and fled into the kitchen. He accepted, as I knew he would. Stellan never turned down food.
    I was standing over the stove, a stew pot filled with water still cold on the burner when Stellan appeared at my shoulder.
    “You alright?” He asked.
    I shrugged. Much like Cole’s Asshole Clairvoyance, Stellan seemed to have his own superpower – Faye’s About To Lose It Clairvoyance.
    “I’ll take that as a ‘no,’ then.” He said.
    I shrugged again and felt the tension in my throat return. I didn’t want to cry. Damn it, I hate people seeing me cry.
    I kept my eyes on the stove as my chin creased. It was coming. I turned back toward the pantry for the box of spaghetti so he wouldn’t see my face. He moved as I moved, and when I reached the other side of the kitchen island, he was there. Fucking ninja.
    He grabbed me around the shoulders and pulled me into him. I clutched my fingers into the folds of his t-shirt, begging the knot in my throat to dispel. I held it together, my eyes welling with tears, but I didn’t lose control of myself. I’d reined it the hell in.
    Fuck Cole. Fuck him and the girl he took to our restaurant. Fuck that pierced