Read Cat O'Nine Tales: And Other Stories for Free Online Page A

for the rest of their
lives.
    Chris and Sue spent
another uncommunicative day and a further sleepless night in Ashford. A duffel
bag containing a quarter of a million pounds was tucked under the bed.
    On Monday a
local vet kindly agreed to give Stamps all the necessary injections. He then
attached a certificate to Mr. Appleyard’s passport,
but not in time for them to catch the last ferry.
    The Haskins
didn’t sleep a wink on the Monday night, and by the time the street lights went
out the following morning, they both knew they could no longer go through with
it. They lay awake, preparing a new plan–in English.
    Chris and Sue
finally left their daughter after breakfast the following morning.
    They drove to
the end of the road and this time, to Tracey’s relief, turned left, not right,
and headed back in the direction of Cleethorpes . By
the time they’d swept past the Heathrow exit, their revised plan was in place.
    ‘The moment we
arrive home,” said Sue, “we’ll put all the money back in the safe.”
    “How will we
explain having that amount of cash, when the Post Office accountant carries out
his annual audit next month?” asked Chris.
    “By the time
they get around to checking what’s left in the safe, as long as we don’t apply
for any more money, we should have been able to dispose of most of the cash
simply by carrying out our regular transactions.”
    “What about the
postal orders that we’ve already cashed?”
    “There’s still
enough cash left in the safe to cover them,” Sue reminded her husband.
    “But the scratch cards and the lottery tickets?”
    “We’ll have to
make up the difference from our own money–that way they’ll end up none the
wiser.”
    “I agree,” said
Chris, sounding relieved for the first time in days, and then he remembered the
passports.
    “We’ll destroy
them,” said Sue, “as soon as we get home.”
    By the time the
Haskins had crossed the Lincolnshire border, they had made up their minds to
continue running the post office, despite its diminished status.
    Sue had already
come up with several ideas for extra items they could sell over the counter,
while making the best of what was left of their franchise.
    A smile settled
on Sue’s lips when Chris finally turned into Victoria Crescent, a smile that
was quickly removed when she saw the flashing blue lights.
    When the old
Rover came to a halt, a dozen policemen surrounded the car.
    “Oh shit,” said
Sue. Extreme language for the chairman of the Mothers’ Union, thought Chris,
but on balance, he had to agree with her.
    Mr. and Mrs.
Haskins were arrested on the evening of 29 December. They were driven to Cleethorpes police station and placed in separate interview
rooms.
    There was no
need for the local police to conduct a good cop, bad cop routine, as both of
them confessed immediately.
    They spent the
night in separate cells, and the following morning they were charged with the
theft of £250,000, being the property of the Post Office, and obtaining, by
deception, four passports.
    They pleaded
guilty to both charges.
    Sue Haskins was
released from Moreton Hall after serving four months
of her sentence. Chris joined her a year later.
    While he was in
prison Chris worked on another plan. However, when he was released Britannia
Finance didn’t feel able to back him. To be fair, Mr. Tremaine had retired.
    Mr. and Mrs.
Haskins sold their property on Victoria Crescent for £100,000. A week later
they climbed into their ancient Rover and drove off to Dover, where they
boarded the ferry after presenting the correct passports. Once they had found a
suitable location on the seafront in Albufeira , they
opened a fishand -chip shop. Haskins’ hasn’t caught on
with the locals yet, but with a hundred thousand Brits visiting the Algarve
every year, there’s proved to be no shortage of customers.
    I was among
those who risked a small investment in the new enterprise, and I am happy to
report that I have recouped every