Read Carried Forward By Hope for Free Online Page A

it was. “You’re going home soon. I will miss both of you.”
    Clifford’s anger faded away as he stared at her. “You’re a fine woman, Carrie Borden. I fear you will not like the world the North has given us to live in.”
    Carrie shrugged. “I fear I will not like the world both the North and the South have given me to live in, but I learned long ago that I can’t let circumstances rule my life. I have to acknowledge them, but I don’t have to let them control me. My only real choice is to try and live a life of love and integrity in the midst of chaos.”
    Janie’s eyes shot up to meet hers. Carrie breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the fear fade, replaced by a glimmer of hope and strength. She gazed into her friend’s eyes, willing her to accept the confidence and strength she was passing on to her through her hand.
    Carrie stood after a long moment. “Please join us in the parlor,” she said gently. “It may be awkward,” she added when she saw Clifford’s eyes flare with resistance, “but if you truly meant what you said about living with dignity and self-respect, then you must be willing to stand up for your beliefs without apology.”
    She turned and walked into the parlor, praying Clifford and Janie would follow. She couldn’t imagine Janie having to go up to their room with Clifford right now. She simply wouldn’t allow it, though she had no idea how she would stop it.
    She almost cried with relief when Clifford followed her. He stood stiffly by the fireplace but accepted the plate of dessert Aunt Abby handed him. Janie sank down on the sofa, suddenly looking as if she couldn’t stand one more minute. Carrie sat down next to her, staying close to give her moral support.
    She looked up to see Aunt Abby gazing at her with warm approval and pride.
    Carrie flushed and had to stiffen herself against the total exhaustion that swept through her body. Had it really only been that morning when Matthew arrived with news of Lincoln’s death? It didn’t seem possible, yet she knew it was true. She sat quietly while conversation ebbed and flowed around her, everyone trying to ease the awkwardness for Janie’s sake.
     
    *******
 
    Carrie had just finished feeding Robert breakfast the next morning when a knock downstairs caught her attention.
    Robert caught her quick look of concern. “Go see who it is,” he said quietly.
    Carrie shook her head quickly, glad beyond relief that Robert’s eyes were clear and his skin was cool. “There is nothing more important to me than being here with you,” she protested. “I’m so very glad you’re better.”
    Robert’s smile was weak but genuine. “Now that I’ve eaten, all I want to do is go back to sleep. You won’t tell me anything that is going on, but I know there is something.”
    “I just don’t want to give you anything else to worry about it,” Carrie replied.
    Robert shook his head wearily. “I find I don’t have enough energy to care, much less worry about what might be happening in our country right now. I’d rather not know.”
    The words were dark with despair, but they gave Carrie a bright hope. It was the longest statement Robert had made since they carried him in so close to death. It was also the most coherent he had sounded. He may not care, but at least the fevers had not burnt through his intelligence and clear thinking. She could wait on everything else.
    “Alright then, my wonderful husband,” she said brightly. Carrie leaned down and kissed him softly. “You sleep. I’ll be back up later.”
    Robert nodded but gripped her hand. “Aunt Abby? Is she still here?”
    “Why?” Carrie cast about for how to answer him.
    A look of confusion marred his clear features for a long moment before Robert simply shrugged. “I don’t know…” he murmured. “I thought perhaps she could come to see me.” He paused and seemed to struggle for words, the fog seeping back into his eyes and voice. “She has very good eyes,” he