but in spite of calls for reform, legislation to correct abuses had yet to pass Parliament.
Adam’s tone was unnaturally detached. Perhaps that was essential when speaking of such a past. “The earl took me back to Spenston House. He was going to deposit me in the nursery for the maids to clean up, but it was Tony’s birthday, and a party was in progress in the schoolroom.
“When he brought me in, two dozen perfectly scrubbed, perfectly dressed little sons and daughters of the nobility turned to stare at me. I’ll remember the expressions on their faces until the day I die. They reacted as if I were a rat just crawled from the gutter.”
Judith could imagine the scene perfectly and was not sure if it was the thought of his hurt that caused her throat to tighten, or memories of her own. She was all too familiar with contempt from those who had been born knowing that they belonged. “What happened then?”
“Antonia walked up to me. She looked like a princess, wearing an immaculate white dress and with that incredible hair tied up with blue ribbons. She said, ‘You must be my cousin Adam. I’m so glad you came in time for my party.’
“Then, even though I was covered with soot, fit only for a chimney or a washtub, she kissed me on the cheek, introduced me to every other child in the room, giving the ones who weren’t polite a killing glare, and ended by asking if I wanted an ice. I think her father’s plan had been to clean me up and place me in a foster home or a modest school, but Tony wanted to keep me, as if I were a puppy that had wandered in. So I became part of the household.’’ He finally turned to Judith, his eyes intent. “It should be obvious why I’ve loved her ever since.”
“Antonia does inspire loyalty,” Judith said softly. “She took me in also, when I was newly widowed, penniless, adrift in the world. And she made me not a servant, but a friend.”
Her words made Adam realize how he had come to confide his deepest feelings to Judith Winslow. Her understanding was a healing balm. She, too, loved Antonia; more than that, she had suffered loss, knew what it was to be an outsider.
He had liked Judith from the first time he had met her, but until now he had not realized how attractive she was. He had had eyes only for Antonia, and this moment of unexpected intimacy was like seeing Judith for the first time.
The afternoon sun burnished her thick chestnut hair with auburn highlights. Her slim figure was graceful and feminine, and her delicate features perfectly formed. Strange that he had not noticed her exquisite complexion, so clear it was almost translucent. The fact that she was easily overlooked was a function other quiet personality. Yet she was not shy; there was no lack of confidence in her fine gray eyes.
He asked, “You’ve been a widow for two years?”
“A bit more than that.” She sighed and turned away to watch the clear water. “To say I am a widow is to engage more sympathy than I deserve. It wasn’t much of a marriage.”
“Your husband was unkind to you?”
“Not really, but he was ill even before we married. I was little more than a servant, except that a servant can give notice. A wife can’t.”
There was a wealth of sadness in those words. “He left you unprovided for?”
“He was a curate, with only his stipend.” She smiled wryly. “I had been acting as an unpaid governess for some cousins. Like you, I had no close family. I was simply a poor relation, an obligation that could be put to work in return for room and board. Mr. Winslow was the curate of the parish church. A pleasant enough man, at least before his illness overcame him. When he asked me to marry him, I thought it would be an improvement.”
“But it wasn’t.”
Her gray eyes met his, her smile more genuine. “If I hadn’t married Mr. Winslow and been widowed, I would still be a governess and Lady Forrester would never have foisted me on Antonia. Since the last two