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And here I am, Gran, circling right back to where I started. I tell myself I’m in charge now. That it’s all my decision. But under it all, I know I just can’t stop it.”
    “Do you want to?”
    “I don’t know the answer.”
    “Then you’ll keep going until you find it. You’ve got such a strong light in you, Tory. You’ll find your way.”
    “So you always said. But the one thing that’s always scared me the most is being lost.”
    “I should have helped you more. I should have been there for you.”
    “Gran.” Tory rose, crossed the room to wrap her arms around Iris’s waist, to press cheek to cheek while the bacon snapped and sizzled. “You’ve always been the one steady hand in my life. I wouldn’t be here without you.”
    “Yes, you would.” Iris patted Tory’s hand, then briskly lifted out bacon to drain. “You’re stronger than the lot of us put together. And that, if you ask me, is what scared Hannibal Bodeen. He wanted to break you, out of his own fear. In the end, well, he forged you, didn’t he? Ignorant s.o.b.” She cracked an egg on the side of the skillet, let it slide into the bubbling grease. “Make us some toast, honey-pot.”
    “She’s nothing like you. Mama,” Tory said as she dropped bread into the toaster. “She’s nothing like you at all.”
    “I don’t know what Sarabeth’s like. I lost her years ago. Same time I lost your granddaddy, I suppose. She was only twelve when he died. Hell, I was hardly more than thirty myself, and found myself a widow with two children to raise on my own. That was the worst year of my life. Nothing’s ever come close to matching it. Sweet Jesus, I loved that man.”
    She let out a sigh, flipped the eggs onto plates. “He was my world, my Jimmy. One minute, the world was steady, and the next it was just gone. And there’s Sarabeth twelve years old, and J.R. barely sixteen. She went wild on me. Maybe I could’ve reined her in. God knows I should have.”
    “You can’t blame yourself.”
    “I don’t. But you see things when you look back. See how if one thing was done different the whole picture of a life changes. If I’d moved away from Progress back then, if I’d used Jimmy’s insurance instead of taking a job at the bank. If I hadn’t been so hell-bent to save so my children could have a college education.”
    “You wanted the best for them.”
    “I did.” Iris set the plates on the table, turned to get butter and jelly from the refrigerator. “J.R. got his college education, and he used it. Sarabeth got Hannibal Bodeen. That’s the way it was meant to be. That’s why my grand-daughter and I are going to sit here and eat a couple of heart attacks on a plate. If I could go back and do that one thing different, I wouldn’t. Because I wouldn’t have you.”
    “I’m going back, Gran, knowing I can’t do anything different.” Tory put the toast on a little plate, carried it to the table. “It scares me that I need to go back so much. I don’t know those people anymore. I’m afraid I won’t know myself once I’m there.”
    “You won’t settle yourself until you do this thing, Tory. Until you take hold of it, you can’t let go of it. You’ve been heading back to Progress since you left it.”
    “I know.” And having someone else understand that helped. Smiling a little, Tory lifted a slice of bacon. “So, tell me about your plumber.”
    “Oh, that sweetie pie.” Delighted with the topic, Iris dug into her breakfast. “Looks like a big old bear, doesn’t he? You wouldn’t guess looking at him how smart he is. Started that company on his own over forty years back. Lost his wife, I knew her slightly, about five years ago. He’s mostly retired now. Two of his sons do most of the running of the business. Got six grandsons.”
    “Six?”
    “Yes, indeed. Fact is, one of them’s a doctor. Good-looking young man. I was thinking—”
    “Stop right there.” Eyes narrowed, Tory slathered jelly on toast.