Read Cancel All Our Vows for Free Online Page A

smashed against the earth, and it all seemed dead. But after many seasons the seed of one of the smashed fruit has taken root. It was the most exotic fruit the tree bore, distorted in its beauty. And now it alone grows. It was the thing which would have added a wildness and a madness to love, and now it alone lives and grows, and the tree itself is dead and will never grow again.
    The seed grows and it is a vine looking for something which can be clasped, tendrils moving and restless. I am afraid that it will find something, someone. And when it does, God, in His infinite mercy, help the man, and help me, because it will destroy us by feeding us too well on the magic fruit.
    If there were some way I could uproot it.… Or some intense chemical spray to make the leaves curl and char and die.
    It is a fruit that grows in the filth of the bottom of the soul, and, rising greenly, takes over every clean niche.
    I want to kill it, and yet, in the anticipation of fulfillment, there is an evil pride—a pride in the intricate perfection of this body, in its never-measured capacity for abandon, in its muscles that pull like silk ropes, and the flawlessness, and the wildnesses, and the lostness.
    And she felt, once again, the familiar desire to punish the truant body. She snatched up the heap of clothing and hurried up the stairs. She threw the clothing on the bed and hurried to the bathroom and turned the hot water on full. It roared into the old-fashioned tub, standing on its clawed feet. Steam misted the distorted mirror of the medicine cabinet, made beads of sweat on the exposed pipes under the sink. When the steaming water reached the overflow drain she turned it off. The first time she tried to force her foot under the surface, she had to snatch it outwith a small whimper of pain. Then she forced herself to keep it there, putting her weight on it, standing, forcing the other foot down into the scalding water. She grasped the sides of the tub, shut her teeth tightly, and, inch by agonizing inch, lowered herself into the water, hearing the constant trickle through the overflow as the smoothness of her body displaced the water. At last she was sitting, and the water made a line of fire around her, just below her breasts. The room rocked for a moment and she was close to fainting. When she felt steady again, she straightened her legs so that her knees went under. She slowly leaned back and the line of fire crept up over the tenderness of her breasts. Laura lay there, dazed by the heat, and knew that the feeling of acute physical suspense had been driven away for a little while, driven away, perhaps, by the orgiastic aspects of self-inflicted pain. She raised one slim leg from the water. It was fire-red and steam billowed from it. There were no long quiet days any more. Only days of a crazy wanting for unknown things.
    The water was nearly cool by the time she climbed, deadened and exhausted, from the tub. The towel’s harshness was increased by the pink sensitivity of her body. She lay diagonally across the big bed, face down, and felt sleep coming, moving toward her, black and silent.
    When she heard the door bang downstairs she awoke instantly, knowing at once that it was Ellis. She rolled over, realizing that she had not changed her position during the long nap. She wondered, irritably, why he was home so early. Afternoon sun slanted against the green shades. The clock said four fifteen. She heard his slow footsteps downstairs, heard him call her. When he started up the stairs she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.
    The hall floor creaked and she heard the small sharp inhalation as he saw her. She wondered what he saw when he looked at her body. Nudity distressed him in an odd way. It seemed strange that he should find it uncomfortable to look upon this body which had carried his two children, which had incubated his seed. She breathedslowly as he approached the bed, and she felt the light touch of the thin summer spread