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hurriedly, aware of Louise looking after her as she went.

Chapter 3
    September twenty-ninth, Friday; Matthew’s twenty-first birthday was two days off. He was to have thrown a party on the Saturday in Dennis Cox’s home, his own mother declining to open hers to a troop of heavy-footed young people. But Dennis had joined up and so had most of Matthew’s friends. So Jenny saw herself as a poor substitute when she accepted his invitation to help him celebrate his majority with a meal at a tiny restaurant by the Salmon and Ball pub in the Bethnal Green Road.
    ‘Why me?’ she’d asked, aware that had Jean still been around or the Middleton girl, now engaged to a young soldier, and had not declined, she would not have been so honoured.
    ‘Why not?’ he’d countered with a flippancy that didn’t quite manage to hide a certain despondency in his voice.
    He was missing everyone, that was certain, and again that insidious suspicion her mother had innocently planted plucked at her. Was he really scared behind that facade he’d put up? She kept telling herself that he must have some honourable reason for rejecting his mother’s intentions for him to get himself a commission, but the more she tried to convince herself, the harder it was to believe it. What young man would scorn the chance of an officer’s uniform? With his education he would certainly become an officer.
    Sitting opposite him at a small table in the restaurant, gas masks in their square boxes hanging on the backs of their chairs, she forced herself to smile at him whenever his brown eyes met hers, knowing he was only using her as a bolster against his own loneliness.
    It had been a wonderful meal, yet she had felt that every mouthful had to be forced down; Matthew too just picked at his food, although he had done a great job on the wine, even ordering a second bottle only to consume most of it himself.
    Jenny fingered her liqueur glass of Tia Maria, gazing at the thick dark liquid in its narrow vessel. ‘You’re not enjoying this evening one scrap, are you?’ she finally burst out.
    He glanced up from the brandy he had ordered. ‘Are you?’
    ‘I was asking you, Matthew.’
    ‘Me? I’m having a whale of a time.’
    The remark, to her ear loaded with sarcasm, full of the implication that in normal circumstances she’d be his very last idea of a companion, struck at the very core of her being. She could find no reply to give him, and felt starkly aware how easily and suddenly adoration can be changed to vague hostility, no matter how temporary, for her heart told her that it could only be a short while before her secret feelings of love returned.
    In silence she watched him lift the brandy glass, study the amber liquid, swirling it thickly around the bowl. Bringing it to his lips he threw back his head, draining it in one gulp and coughing a little against its fiery taste. He signalled to the wine waiter for another.
    ‘You’ll get yourself plastered,’ she warned, finding her voice again as the drink arrived moments later.
    ‘Wouldn’t be such a bad idea.’
    ‘It would be a silly idea. You’ll spoil your birthday.’
    ‘Some birthday,’ he muttered ruefully, taking a long swig.
    Ignoring the connotation of her being poor company, Jenny opened her handbag and brought out a small oblong package wrapped in coloured paper. She laid it on the table in front of him.
    ‘It’s not much I’m afraid, but – happy birthday, Matthew.’
    For a moment he stared at it, then his face lit up. ‘You didn’t have to do that, Jenny.’
    He sounded suddenly like an excited schoolboy and she forgave him his shortened use of her name, her heart lifting as he began tearing off the wrapping with genuine pleasure as though this was the most important gift he had ever received. It was especially flattering as she knew of the presents he’d been given by his family. He had already shown her a monogrammed silver cigarette case from his sister. In fact Louise had