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the fair and a six-foot Frankfurter had gone missing.

CHAPTER 4
    I disappeared into the tiny bathroom and did about half a dozen cockeyed twirls in the eensie-weensie shower, trying to expose
     as much of my body to the weak, wussie spray as possible. I'm used to taking fast showers—probably because I'm always running
     late. I washed, rinsed, then pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail and gelled up, donned khaki shorts and a navy tank,
     and shoved my feet into my comfy Soft Spots sandals. I emerged from my hasty cleanup to find Aunt Reggie and Uncle Frank arguing
     about Frankie, my mother setting up her laptop and printer, Gram painting her toenails black, and my dad nowhere to be found.
     Wise man, my father. He generally drops his wife and mother off at the campground, then hightails it back to Grandville and
     his job with the phone company and a week of peace and quiet. He sometimes visits on the weekend, but he's not a big fair
     fan. Seen one, you've seen 'em all: That's my dad's position. "I can't believe you think Frankie is responsible for those
     roaches," my Aunt Reggie was saying. "My god, Frank, he's your son."
    "Some son," my uncle said, shoving a hand over his smooth razor-cut gray head and staring out the front door. "He spits in
     my face when I offer him a business I've spent my whole life building. He embarrasses me with my competitors. He disappears
     on the eve of opening day, just when I need him the most. Why the hell wouldn't I be suspicious? That kid has a lot to answer
     for. If he ever has the guts to show up again," he added.
    "Where does a person get cockroaches anyway?" Gram asked, looking up from her toes. "Do you go to the landfill and start flipping
     over garbage? Do you get 'em from those guys at the universities who study bugs? Maybe you breed them. I wonder if there's
     a stud fee for roaches. You know what? I bet you can buy 'em online. You can buy anything online. Some guy auctioned off a
     kidney online. Made a tidy sum!"
    "That's illegal, Hannah," my mother informed her from the modest dining area.
    "You can live with only one kidney, you know," Gramma went on. "Lots of people do."
    "Hannah," my mother said.
    "You can even buy Viagra online," Gramma continued. My eyebrows went north.
    "Viagra's for men, Gram," I told her.
    "That's what you think, missy," she replied with a wink. "That's what you think."
    I could only stare. "Have you got the schedule worked out yet, Mom?" I asked, wanting to get the heck out of Dodge before
     Grandma's little piggies dried and she recruited me to escort her to the fairgrounds. "When and where do I next report?"
    My mother made a few clicks with the mouse. "You're scheduled at Site B from eight to one, with Frankie relieving you, then
     Site A from five 'til close."
    My mother referred to Uncle Frank's mini-freeze and emporium that way, as Site A and Site B. Must be that accountant thing
     again. She added, "We may have to make adjustments for Frankie." Looking over at my aunt and uncle, she saw they were still
     in a heated discussion over their only child. "We'll just have to play that by ear."
    I nodded. "Who's going to pick up Taylor? I asked. "With Frankie possibly a scratch, we'll need her here ASAP."
    My mother's fingers flew over the keyboard. "Oh, Rick offered to collect her. He had to make a trip back home early this morning
     to get a few more specimens for the DNR exhibit. He said he'd swing by and pick her up on the way. There wouldn't be any place
     for her to park her car here anyway."
    "By specimens, you mean snakes," I clarified. Despite the stuffy trailer, I shivered at the thought. Who in their right mind
     kept snakes as pets? Okay, so being petrified of the slithering serpents I'm hardly impartial—and rather inclined to stay
     that way.
    "That was very considerate," I observed, "to volunteer his reptile-mobile to transport Taylor. I hope she's suitably cautious
     and keeps her eyes peeled for anything that slinks,