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documentary series, not a reality TV drama. That made me feel a lot better. And after talking to my parents and the producers, I started to see more value in the idea. I thought that if by sharing my story I could help one teen girl get on birth control, or if some other pregnant girl out there could relate to me and wouldn’t be so scared, it was a project worth taking on. So I signed the contract. We started filming, and then it got the green light.
    Being the subject of a documentary is awkward at first, because you haven’t gotten used to pretending the cameras aren’t there. And at that time, I already felt like I was being stared at everywhere I went, on account of my being so young and so pregnant. Every time I went out in public I felt like everyone turned to look at the toddler having a baby. Adding a film crew on top just made it even crazier. But only for a little while. I got used to it, and it all felt normal very quickly.
    Even after filming all of 16 and Pregnant , I had no idea I’d hitched myself to a spaceship. I watched the show when it aired, but somehow I didn’t make the connection that millions of other people were watching me right along with me. It was only when I went to the mall later that it hit me. People were approaching me and calling me by my name. They were asking for photos! Right away, the atmosphere told me it was much bigger than I ever thought it would be.
    The show did a good job of representing me and my story. If there was one thing I wished might have been different, it was nothing they could have changed. It was just me and my personality. Watching the show, I saw the same calm, collected Maci everyone else did. The difference was that I remembered what was really going on inside my head at the time. Eventually, I started to understand how my introverted character became a double-edged sword on 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom . On one hand, I heard from countless teen moms who were going through the same thing I did, and who told me, “You’re so strong, and you showed me that I could be strong. If you did it, I can do it.”
    On the other hand, there are many times when people say things like, “You make it look so easy. You’re so put together. You make it look like you’re not struggling at all.” That’s when I wish I’d broken down my walls a little more and shared my emotions on camera. I wished I could have shown people, especially younger girls, how much harder on me it was than it looked. I wished they could see that even for someone who kept it together like I did, had all the support that I did, being a teen mom was still the most difficult thing in the world. I wished I could make them understand that you can have the best family, all the best friends, and still feel like you’re completely alone.
    I almost never cry. Ever. Not in front of other people, and not when I’m alone. The list of things that can make me cry is very short. Either I’m extremely angry, or I’m worried about Bentley. Other than that, I’m just not a crier. It must be hereditary. Not only can I count the number of times I’ve seen either of my parents cry, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen them show that they were overwhelmed. I know they must have been, because everyone is at some point. And it’s not as if we’re not emotional people. But even though we’re a very close family and very open with each other, we tend to keep our feelings to ourselves. I hardly ever fought with my parents as a teenager. My brother was the same way. They raised us to be very independent people, but I guess they earned so much of our respect we ended up a little dependent after all. Instead of rebelling, I ended up looking to them for answers and guidance. There were never any big blow-ups or stupid fights in our house. My parents kept things calm and respectful, and that’s how we were raised.
    In a way, that mindset made it impossible for me to deal with random drama. Instead of engaging with