he thought heâd learned anything and how he liked his first morning. Before Roger could reply, he went on to criticize Queenâs Bench Judges, Official Referees and his opponents in each of the cases, finally ending up his criticisms with the pronouncement: âBut there you are, my dear fellow, they will do these things, they will do these things.â
Five minutes later they were off again, this time at only a very fast walking pace. They went to a place known as the âBear Gardenâ where Mr Grimes had a summons to dispose of before a judicial officer called a Master. It was to be heard by Master Tiptree. Before they went into the Masterâs room, Mr Grimes was joined by Alec and the clerk from the solicitors instructing him. Mr Grimes greeted the clerk most affably and then proceeded to say something to him in a low voice. Roger could only catch that it began with: âI donât mind telling you, my dear fellow â â but what he didnât mind telling him, Roger never heard. Fortunately they did not have to wait long and soon they were in front of Master Tiptree. Roger knew from his Bar examinations that various applications in the course of an action were made to a Master, but he only had a slight theoretical knowledge of such matters. A Master appearing in a question in an examination paper is very different from an actual live one sitting in his room.
âThis is an application for discovery of specific documents, Master,â began Mr Grimes.
âWhereâs the affidavit?â asked the Master.
âOh, Master, before we come to the affidavit, Iâd like to tell you something about the action.â
âI dare say you would, Mr Grimes, but I want to see the affidavit.â
âIf you please, Master.â
Mr Grimes obtained a sheet of paper from the solicitorâs clerk and handed it to the Master.
He glanced at it, threw it back at Mr Grimes and said: âWhat dâyou call that, Mr Grimes?â
Mr Grimes looked at the offending document. âIâm so sorry, Master. Itâs the wrong affidavit.â
âI am only too well aware of that, Mr Grimes. I want the right one.â
âHere it is, Master. Iâm so sorry.â
Mr Grimes handed another affidavit to the Master, who read it quickly.
âThis wonât do, Mr Grimes. It doesnât say the alleged missing document relates to the matters in question.â
âOh, but Master, if youâll be good enough to look at the pleadings, youâll see it must be material.â
âI dare say, Mr Grimes, but Order 31, Rule 19A is quite definite and has not been complied with.â
âOh, but Masterââ
âItâs no good saying, âOh, but Master,â Mr Grimes. You know as well as I do your affidavit is defective. Dâyou want an adjournment or shall I dismiss the summons?â
Mr Grimesâ opponent then intervened.
âMaster, I ask you to refuse an adjournment and dismiss the summons.â
âI dare say you do, but Iâm not going to. You can have the costs thrown away.â
âBut Masterââ
âIâve made up my mind. You can go to the judge if you donât like it. Now Mr Grimes, have you made up your mind?â
âYes, please, Master. I ask for an adjournment to put the affidavit in order.â
âVery well.â
The Master started to write out his Order.
Mr Grimes whispered to Roger: âJust stay and take the Order, my dear fellow,â and without another word he was off towards Mr Justice Nettlefoldâs Court.
The Master wrote for a few moments. When he looked up he saw that Mr Grimes had gone.
âPupil?â he asked Roger.
âYes, Master.â
âHow long?â
âToday.â
âOrder 31, Rule 19A mean anything to you?â
âNot a thing, Master.â
âI should look it up when you get back to chambers, if I were you. Itâs the only way
The Hairy Ones Shall Dance (v1.1)