there, I realized that this man sitting in front of me was broken too. I closed my eyes and took a slow, deep breath. When I opened my eyes, I looked right at him. “I can’t do this without you. Please. I know you understand how hard this is. I see it in your eyes, but Ian, I can’t do this alone.” We sat there nodding at each other, almost trying to gather strength from each other. When the person in scrubs opened my door, I felt Ian squeeze my hand and say. “Okay, let’s go.”
***
I was wheeled into the hospital as Ian went to park the car. I was still shaking profusely, and the nurse puts a warm blanket over me, assuming I am cold. Looking back, I see Ian stand outside of the doors with his eyes closed. I can see that his hands are shaking, and he starts to walk forward several times before he actually makes it through the door. When he walks up to me, I can see the unshed tears threatening to overflow. He nods at me, and it becomes like an unspoken language between us that helps us let each other know we are okay, holding it together, just barely, but okay none the less.
Ian hands the registrar my ID and insurance card. “Mrs. Mitchell, would you like your husband as your emergency contact?” Confused, I look at her. “My husband?” I ask, and see that she is looking back and forth between Ian and me, just as confused. “Oh, um…He isn’t my husband, um he’s, um…” I am stammering, and thankfully Ian takes over. “Her friend.” He says as her touches my hand. Embarrassed, she continues. “Oh, I’m sorry. Would you like your friend to be your emergency contact?” I glance at Ian, and he gives me the slightest nod. “Yes, please,” I say.
After I am registered, I am taken to a room in the emergency department. I am hooked up to monitors and an IV is started in my right hand. The cold fluid makes my arm ache. The nurse stands in front of the monitors, looking at them and adjusting wires. She steps out and comes back in with a middle-aged Hispanic man. “Hi Ally, I am Dr. Lopez.” He says with a comforting smile. “Your heart rate and blood pressure are slightly elevated, probably a result of the pain.” He writes a few things down and starts talking again. “I am going to examine you now.” He uncovers me and I start to shake my head, pushing his hands away. He exchanges looks with the nurse as I notice Ian stand up and move to my side. He leans down and starts to whisper in my ear. “Ally, you can do this.” I don’t look back at the doctor, but I see when Ian nods at him and then I feel his hands pressing on my stomach. It hurts and with every touch I almost cry out. He covers me back up and writes some more things in my chart as he gives the nurse orders. “Ally, I want to have a few tests done to rule out appendicitis. We are going to get a CT scan and some blood work. We should know more then.” He nods at Ian and moves out the door.
Ian sits in the chair with his head in his hands. The nurse came back in right after the doctor left, took some blood and gave me something to help with my nausea and pain through my IV. My mind feels fuzzy, and reminds me of the months I spent in the hospital after that night. I close my eyes and start to doze when I see the light go out behind my closed eyelids. “NO!”I gasp. I try to sit up, and Ian flips the switch quickly, looking at me. “On?’ He asks. “Please.” I nod. He nods at me, walks back to the chair and put his head back into his hands.
I am wakened by a man who introduces himself and tells me he is going to take me to get my scan. I look at Ian, starting to feel the panic rise. “Can I walk with her?” Ian asks standing up at the same time. The man agrees, and I am thankful for that. When we reach the room, the man asks Ian to wait outside. He grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Right here, Ally.” He says