hoping the gilt work will be the carrot.”
She blew out air. “Fingers crossed.” She stared out at a family of plovers that raced across the dunes. “Thanks for putting up with me last night.”
“My pleasure.”
She turned and made a face. “Really?”
“Well . . .”
“I know I was a hysterical mess. It was just such a shock. No one ever hinted that I wasn’t a real Calder.”
“Let’s not start that again.”
“I’m not. Just thank you. What are you working on today? Can I see?”
“Sure, it’s mainly sketches at this point.”
Meri leaned over the table, studying the creatures that frolicked across the drawing paper. She looked closer and saw that what she’d first thought were cuddly children’s book elves were something darker and more sinister.
“What’s it for?”
“If you can believe it, it’s for the autobiography of an underground, grunge rock singer I’d never heard of before taking the commission. And wish I’d never heard or read about since. Seriously fucked up.”
She laughed. “If those little guys are testaments to his life, I don’t doubt it.”
“Pretty nasty stuff. That’s why I’m out here today. In the sunshine.”
“It would give me nightmares.”
“It would give anybody nightmares.”
“Even you?”
“Absolutely me. This might be the first project I’ve turned in weeks ahead of deadline, just to get it out of my house.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Why do you think?”
“Child support?”
“More or less. Plus Nora will be going to college year after next.”
“Doesn’t her stepfather make huge amounts of money?”
“He’s not touching my daughter’s or son’s education.”
“Ooo-kay.”
“Sorry. It’s these malevolent creatures. They’re in my head today.”
“Well, I’ll leave you with them. Call if you need me to send a priest to exorcize them.”
“Funny.”
“Oh,” she said. “I loved my birthday present. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“When I asked if the picture was Ondine, why did you say, God no?”
He shrugged. “Sordid story. Bad outcome.”
“I think you should do a nice children’s book next.”
“I am. A picture book version of the Odyssey .”
Meri made a face.
“The bowdlerized version.”
A n hour later Meri was on her way back to Newport. Gran hadn’t mentioned the box, which made Meri think it was probably nothing. That was the trouble with secrets. Once you learned one, you expected everything to be related.
She put it out of her mind; she had more urgent things to think about, like what if anything would she tell Peter tonight about her less than conventional birth. She spent the drive home arguing with herself about what and how much to say.
He did have a right to know. Some people might freak, but she didn’t really see Peter doing that. Would he be disappointed? Maybe. More likely he would be worried that she had no history of family illnesses or disease, which would be a problem if she or any of their children got sick.
She supposed she’d have to find out who her mother really was, though she was loath to go there. Would Gran and her father and half brothers feel rejected if she hied off in search of her “real” family? But they weren’t real. Alden was right; this was her family, and she was grateful and she loved them. And that should be enough.
But was it?
A car was just leaving a permit-only parking space when she turned onto her street. Meri pulled into it, then just sat in the car, feeling stuck between two worlds, until she realized she was shivering from the cold. She had a world, and she was sticking to it. She grabbed her packages and went upstairs.
Her tiny apartment overlooked the street and could be noisy, especially in the summer. But it also got lots of light. Today it was dark except for one ray of sunlight that slashed diagonally across the polished wood floor. The living area was narrow, just large enough for a coffee table to sit between couch