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the rain! I sit next to Her Grace and my banter comes across as over-familiarity and as she glazes over I can’t think what more to say so I decide to go for votes and work the tables. I then feel ashamed when we get to the auction and she bids a thousand pounds for one of my jumpers! Vanessa forces me to bid 300 plus for an art deco lamp we neither want, need nor can afford.
WEDNESDAY 12 JUNE 1991
    Poll puts Labour ten points ahead. Major defends ‘unchanged’ Euro policy. Brandreth beetles off to Birmingham to be in attendance upon HRH as he arrives at Birmingham Children’s Hospital to open Anneka’s playground – genuinely built from scratch in  forty-eight hours flat.
SATURDAY 15 JUNE 1991
    Last night I was at the Northcott Theatre, Exeter, giving the Hans Andersen show as part of the Exeter Festival. The house was full of people expecting Tommy Steele at least, Danny Kaye at best. Instead they got me and I felt – and shared – their disappointment. Tonight we were at supper in Sheen with Tim and Alison Heald 89 and Tim’s old chum from his Oxford days, Chris Patten. 90 Clearly Tim assumed that as a prospective candidate I would know Chris and Lavender, know them well, but, of course, I’d never met the chairman of the party and I rather sensed he’d never heard of me. Anyway, we each affected to know one another and the evening was reasonably jolly – except I felt I had to be on my best behaviour in the presence of the ‘boss’ and I think CP felt he had to be circumspect in the presence of an ‘unknown’.
TUESDAY 18 JUNE 1991
    The Hilary Howarth Nursery School, the Cherry Grove Primary School, the Blacon Project Adventure Playground, the Farmer’s Party at Hatton Hall and, finally, theEuro-constituency AGM – a quiet affair. Up at Westminster Ted Heath is raging at Thatcher’s speech on the Union and challenging her to a TV debate (which would be fun) but here in Chester the Euro debate is rather less lively. I toe the line, strike the balance, go for the middle way, but I don’t think they’re terribly interested.
FRIDAY 19 JULY 1991
    We’re flying to Venice today. I have mixed feelings about this both because of all the ‘vital events’ Jill Everett 91 tells me I’m missing in Chester between now and the end of the month and because of my ding-dong with Prince Edward. He sent a pompous letter essentially berating the [Duke of Edinburgh seventieth] Birthday Committee for not pulling our weight – so I called the Palace and spoke to his office and said I thought he had a cheek. Edward called back and I didn’t let him get a word in: I just banged on about his pompous letter, reminded him we were all volunteers and said that I didn’t like being patronised or cajoled by someone several years my junior when I working my socks off for the good of the cause! He bleated an apology and I felt a whole lot better – but, of course, my response was quite as pompous and uncalled for as his letter. And now I’m leaving the country and I won’t even be at the wretched birthday celebrations. Michèle says no one will notice and, of course, she’s right.
WEDNESDAY 31 JULY 1991
    We bought an English paper and there’s the picture of Prince Philip and Prince Edward at the birthday bash meeting Harry Connick Jr, ‘the new Frank Sinatra’, who pronounced the Duke ‘a real cool dude’.
    As arranged, at 12 noon, as the clock struck, we met up with Jo and Stevie at the Caffè Florian. The Brandreths and the Barlows took Bellinis in the drawing room of Europe and we raised our glasses to absent royalty and agreed that Michèle had been right – as usual. Tomorrow we are lunching on Torcello, at my favourite restaurant in all the world. Ain’t life grand?
TUESDAY 6 AUGUST 1991
    Returned to find ‘Dear Gyles’ letter from Prince Edward: ‘In spite of all the crossedwires (for which I apologise) and the bleak economic background, I felt that last weekend’s celebrations were a tremendous success. I