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in her veins, her mind deep in a fantasy of happily ever after.
    She couldn’t tell her how hard it was to concentrate sometimes, how she would hear his voice or see his face while buried deep in an assignment for school.
    â€œThe thing is, Shaz,” she had confided, “he’s not like other boys. We talk, you know? Really talk – about everything! He’s interested in me for who I am, not what everyone else sees…”
    â€œThat might be true,” Shazia insisted, “but I still think there is something wrong with a Muslim boy who starts a relationship with a Muslim girl. I mean, what does he want to get out of it? If he’s like all the others and is hoping that he’s going to get some of
that
, then he’s a ho and I’ve got zero respect for him! And if he isn’t, thenwhy is he doing something he knows we’re not allowed to do? What does that say about what he thinks of you?”
    â€œNot everyone is like you, Shazia,” Farhana had replied. “Some people know what’s right and just find it hard to do it. I don’t believe Malik is like all the others… I can’t believe that.”
    â€œI just don’t think I would take the risk – you know what would happen if your parents found out.”
    â€œYeah,” Farhana had murmured. “I know…”
    And Farhana hadn’t told Shazia much about Malik after that. By then, she would have risked anything for Malik. Anything.
    Until he did the unthinkable. It was Robina who broke the news. It was she who had seen him at a party with Amba, a tall, leggy girl from the A Level year, the one who was a part-time model for Asian Girl. To hear Robina tell it, Amba didn’t seem interested in holding anything back.
    And so came the heartache, the pillows wet with tears, the sleepless nights, the gifts thrown in the bin. And she stopped taking his calls, never once telling him why.
    Who were you trying to kid?
she had askedherself.
Why should he stay with you when girls ten times prettier than you are fighting to be with him and give him everything he wants and more?
    â€œMore than anything, I’m angry with myself,” she had said to Shazia. “I risked so much for him – and for what?”
    â€œWell, I think it’s for the best: your parents would have gone absolutely mental if they had found out. I say count your blessings that it ended before things got out of hand. Remember,” she had said, putting on her mother’s Urdu-tinted accent, “you are their daughter, a Pakistani girl, a Muslim. You are expected to stay chaste, away from all this teen romance nonsense.”
    Farhana had laughed but she knew that it was true. As far as her parents were concerned, she went to school and came home, clothes deemed too revealing swiftly disappeared, parties were out of the question, staying over at friends’ houses was unthinkable.
    â€œWe have our way of doing things, Farhana,” Mum would say. “It’s for your own good.”
    But how crazy was that? All around her, the messages were the complete opposite. The music, the videos, the movies, the teen magazines were allfull of the same thing: boys, boys, boys! It was like, if you weren’t hooking up with some guy or the other, you were one of last living freaks.
    â€œI just feel like such an idiot,” she had moaned. “You know what Robina said? She said that he had been telling everyone that he was going to ‘have’ me: Farhana Ahmed, the ice maiden!”
    â€œYeah, well, I wouldn’t take what Robina says too seriously. You know she has a habit of making things up sometimes. Anyway, wasn’t she dead set on having Malik herself?”
    â€œYeah, but she gave up once she saw that he was into me…”
    â€œYeah?” Shazia had been thoughtful. “OK…”
    So Farhana, to protect herself and what was left of her dignity, had closed her heart off,