that the person â ⦠tÃene la madre en rasta, â (â ⦠has to drag his mother aroundâ), the suggestion being that the person is so poor, heâs got his family in tow, no vehicle. (I learned about the second part to this phrase when I called my father when I was out of work in Seattle, had to admit to being very nearly broken down, very much out of luck and out of work, and said, â Tengo la madre en rasta. âHe surprised me by chuckling, and finishing the sentence, â ... y la tÃa en la manó. â (â¦and my aunt in hand.)
These are timid examples, though. We could get very dirty, very biological, very Aristocrats in our verbal assaults. For me, somehow, because it was in Spanish it didnât seem wrong, and I got very good at itâespecially in Spanish, but also in English. This is what these kids understood at this new school, this is what I was good at among them, and I had developed a reputation as the âput-downâ champion, so much so that I could make kids cry or attack in just a few seconds. Normally Iâd have an audience, so the attacks were usually thwarted by my friend Arthur, or Agripino and his bunch, led by a kid nicknamed El Chicloso (âgummy assholeâ), because he always smelled like poo. (I remember once feeling really, really terrible when this one kid, Teodóro, challenged the position of champion and I annihilated him in one or two rounds during P.E. He was inconsolable when we got back into the classroom, putting his head down and sobbing loudly. The teacher finally attempted consolation, asking, âWhat happened? Whatâs wrong? Whatâs wrong, Teodóro?â He wouldnât speak, so she finally asked the class what had happened, and my cousin Dora raised her hand and said, âDomingo said his motherâs anus looks like cauliflower,â which was something Iâd heard my Gramma say to a police officer a few weeks before. A few years later, I was driving around with Dad and he had some sort of business with a man who turned out to be Teodóroâs father, and as I was sitting in the passenger seat the whole time my father was calling Teodóroâs dad Panocha , which was apparently his accepted nickname, which means âtwat.â His dadâs name was âTwat,â and he cried when I said his motherâs anus looked like a cauliflower? I just donât understand people sometimes.)
This continued for many months, and I had established myself among these kids in a way that I had not considered myself capable when I first got to Vermillion. I had changed, certainly, but I was able to turn off the vulgarian side of me with an easy, very smart switch, and the minute I stepped off the school bus and entered the house, another switch was flipped and I was clean-mouthed, pissed off and quiet. The minute I got on the bus in the morning, it was showtime: I would be there all week. I still managed my academia to the extent I couldâI was the top student, a good athlete, and well-liked by teachers, students, and administratorsâbut I was also well-respected by the farm kids, who didnât buy into this American âupward mobilityâ thing, this âeducation,â who might have otherwise picked on me, thought me soft. I spoke their language, after all.
This created a duality in me that left me feeling soiled and conflicted. I remember one lunch I was sitting with Agripino and Arthur, two of my closest friends at the time, and we were trading marbles while eating our lunch when this scraggly curly haired problem white kid named Billy sat directly across from me. Knowing now what we do about learning disabilities, I think itâs likely that Billy was dyslexic and was acting out from his frustration, because there was nothing else really wrong with him except he couldnât write and couldnât read. But he had nothing else so he had decided to be tough.
He sat