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had checked with Harvard after my meeting with Borman. In a million years it had never occurred to me that the math test thing would cost me my scholarship. If it wasn’t a deal-breaker for Harvard, why should the McAllister people care?
    A feeling of cold panic descended on me as I realized that a no on the scholarship was a no on Harvard, too. Sure, I had college savings, but that would never cover more than a state school. Dad owned a small-town hardware store; Mom picked up a few extra bucks as the dispatcher for substitute teachers in our area. My first year’s tab for tuition and housing was more than forty thousand dollars ! For me to come up with that kind of money now would take a much larger ethics violation than the one I’d allegedly committed with Owen Stevenson. I would have to hold up an armored car on its way to Fort Knox!
    I was screwed.
    My parents took it worse than I did.
    â€œIf only we’d known , Leo!” Dad lamented. “We could have found that money somewhere!”
    â€œCome on, Dad. Forty grand? That was always the deal—no scholarship, no Harvard. That’s why I applied to state schools—in case the McAllister didn’t pan out.”
    â€œBut we told the state schools to forget it!” Mom interjected desperately. “It’s too late for that now!”
    Dad cut right to the heart of the matter. “But how can they accuse you of cheating? Did you cheat?”
    â€œOf course not!” I exploded. “I was tutoring a guy in algebra, and I said one word to him in the exam. One word! It wasn’t a question or an answer.”
    â€œBut why did you say any word?” my mother persisted.
    â€œMr. Borman was gunning for Owen Stevenson,” I explained. “If I’d served the kid up on a silver platter, nothing would have happened to me.”
    â€œOwen Stevenson?” my mother repeated shrilly. “You can’t stand Owen Stevenson!”
    â€œBorman’s worse. He was looking for an excuse to kick Owen out of school, and I sure wasn’t going to do his dirty work for him.”
    They supported me. Mom got on the phone to Mr. Borman, and Dad took on the McAllister Foundation. Then they switched. They fought hard for me, their strident, outraged voices ringing through the house.
    In the end, it was all settled. The powers that be were going to take away my scholarship, and I was going to let them. There’s no mercy in academia.
    Screwed.
    Thinking back on it, I probably should have gone to the newspapers to expose Borman for the tin-plated dictator that he was. But that wouldn’t have gotten me my scholarship back. Technically, I was in the wrong here. Talking during an exam counts as cheating. It’s like speeding—everybody does it, but if you’re the guy they catch, you’re done.
    Dad was practically suicidal. “This is my fault. If I had stayed on Wall Street that tuition bill would be a drop in the bucket right now.”
    â€œErik, that’s crazy talk,” my mother soothed. “Who could blame you after what happened to Dan Rapaport?”
    â€œThere were a lot of other guys on that commuter platform, and none of them quit their jobs. None of them put themselves ahead of their families.”
    â€œYou did that for your family, remember?” she argued. “So you’d always be there for us.”
    It tore me up to see him blaming himself for this. I also saw a connection with that day on the railway platform, but my take was different. Ever since then, I’d been unable to say no to Melinda. If I’d had the spleen to tell her to stuff it when she’d asked me to tutor Owen, none of this would be happening right now.
    If only life came with a rewind/erase button.
    â€œOh, Leo!” Mom was distraught. “I know defending Owen was the right thing to do. But, oh honey, how could you?”
    It came back to me as clear as Caribbean water—the feeling