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down.
    I shouldn’t have taken her camping. If I could go back in time; stop her from walking into the woods; ignore that phone call that had led her into their clutches …
    I quit the football team this year and the basketball team too. It didn’t seem right to carry on with my life when Mackenzie was out there somewhere having God knows what done to her.
    My friends kept telling me that I needed to move on, go forward with my life, but I couldn’t. To move on would be to admit Mackenzie was never coming home. I couldn’t do that, not when the only thing keeping me going was the small spark of hope inside of me that she still might.
    The police still had no leads. It was as if she vanished into thin air. But she didn’t just vanish . I was proof to that.
    Our parents were getting a lot closer these days, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Mitch spent a lot of time at our house lately and had even taken to spending the night. Fuck if I knew how to handle it all. God, I needed Mackenzie with me right now. I needed her gentle touch and kind nature.
    I thought about the night Mackenzie was taken every spare minute of the day. I obsessed over it. I overanalyzed every damn thing about that night, until I felt like I was losing contact with my sanity. I spent my free time down at the creek, looking for clues. But I never found any. I never found her …
    My breath caught in my throat, and I blinked away the tears that were filling my eyes as I continued to sit at the exact spot where we’d kissed, looking out onto the water. The water was still and calm, unlike the tsunami of emotions raging inside of me.
    God, I felt like I was dying inside. It felt as if my entire life had been put on hold and the only thing that could bring me back to life was Mackenzie coming home.
    The pain of her absence was worse than anything I had ever felt in my life and I was surprised my heart was still beating.
    This long-suffering agony should have killed me by now.
     
     
     
     
    ****
     
     
    Mackenzie
    May 26 th , 2003
     
     
    It had been twelve months since I last saw Cade. Twelve months since my world turned upside down. Twelve months since I lost the will to live …
    I continued to scream against the piece of fabric that had been stuffed into my mouth, even though I knew that no one would hear me – no one who cared, at least.
    I screamed until my lungs felt like they were going to burst into flames and my head began to spin. Everything was dark, cold and wet and all I could hear echoing around me was his voice. Master’s voice …
    Master called me his ‘ pretty sunshine’ and stroked my hair while my whole body continued to shake. Master liked my hair. Master said I was special because of my hair. I made him lots of money because of my hair.
    Pretty sunshine.
    Pretty sunshine.
    Master talked to me in English. I wished he wouldn’t. It made things so much worse when I understood him – understood what he wanted from me.
    Master clamped his beefy hand down on the back of my neck, and I knew that I never wanted to feel the sun against my skin or the icy water on my toes again for the rest of my life.
    I wished things were different. I wanted so badly to go back to the night I was taken and be in Cade’s arms with his lips on my mouth and his arms holding me tightly. I loved Cade. I did. I had never realized just how much until now. Oh, God, I wished that I’d told Cade I loved him that night.
    I wanted my Dad.
    I wanted to sleep in my bed again.
    I wanted to shower in clean water without an audience.
    Oh, God, I just wanted to go home …
    “Good girl,” Master whispered into my ear and his breath made me physically gag. I clutched my stomach and bent over heaving. “Very good.”
    I changed my mind.
    Now I wanted to die. 
    Let me die.
    Let me die.
    Please, Lord, stop my heart from beating …
    Master didn’t care that I was sick. Master didn’t care that he was hurting me and making me feel like setting my body on