Blue Star Rapture

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Book: Read Blue Star Rapture for Free Online
Authors: JAMES W. BENNETT
cigarette and lit it. When he offered her one, she said, “No, thank you.”
    â€œI don’t suppose that would work with Sister Simone, would it?”
    LuAnn was smiling. “It wouldn’t work with me. It wouldn’t work with who I am. It would only work with the old me.”
    â€œThe old you?”
    â€œBefore I was saved. Before I turned my life over to the Lord. I used to smoke those things.”
    â€œYou used to smoke and you used to be a cheerleader.”
    Her face was propped on her forearms, which were propped on the lower railing of the bridge. He liked her face at this three-quarter angle. She said, “I used to be a lot of things. Mostly, I was willful.”
    T.J. took a drag before he asked, “What’s that supposed to mean, willful? ”
    â€œIt means I wanted my own way. I had to be a cheerleader with a spiral perm. I smoked cigarettes and drank beer. I did some marijuana at parties. I skipped a lot of school, so my grades were low.”
    â€œWhat school do you go to?”
    â€œPeoria Roosevelt. I’ll be a senior next year.”
    â€œYeah, me too. At Burton. So what happened to the cheerleading?”
    â€œI was kicked off the squad.”
    â€œThat’s too bad,” said T.J.
    â€œNot really,” LuAnn explained. “I think it’s what I wanted. I wanted my parents to suffer. I thought all the bad things I was doing would punish them. It was so stupid how I was willing to mess up my own life just to pay them back for something I couldn’t even name. That’s what I mean by willful.”
    T.J., who was habitually guarded with the private aspects of his own life, wondered why LuAnn would be so open with all this negative personal history. “Do you always just blurt out the personal stuff?” he asked.
    â€œI do now.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause telling other people I’m a sinner reminds me of the fact.”
    â€œYou want to be reminded you’re a sinner, is that it?” T.J. had no idea why he was even extending this conversation. He threw the spent Marlboro down the gorge.
    â€œIf you know you’re a sinner,” declared LuAnn, “it reminds you that you can be redeemed.”
    â€œSo if you’re bad, that’s good.”
    She lifted her head to say, “If you acknowledge your sins and confess them, then God’s grace can save you. If you don’t understand your own sinful nature, then you can’t understand the path to redemption.”
    â€œSo you can’t be saved if you don’t admit you need it.”
    â€œExactly.” LuAnn smiled wider.
    â€œHave you ever read 1984? ” T.J. asked her.
    â€œI’m not sure,” she replied. “Why?”
    â€œOh, you know, war is peace. Freedom is slavery.”
    â€œThat sounds weird, for sure. Is it a good book?”
    Now she sounded a little bit like Tyron, but it didn’t matter. Looking straight into her face, he wondered what he ought to say next. About all he could want from this girl was a good lay, but what he’d most likely get would be a session of scripture reading.
    â€œI asked you, is it a good book?”
    â€œYeah,” answered T.J., with no thought about books. “Lots of people think so.”
    â€œAre you a Christian, T.J.?” was her next question.
    â€œNo, no, nothin’ like that,” was his quick reply.
    â€œBecause our meetings are open. I’m sure Sister Simone would be glad to have you, or any of your friends.”
    â€œDo you think I need to be converted, is that it?”
    â€œWho said anything about that? I just want you to know you’re invited.”
    â€œYeah, well, thanks but no thanks.”
    On Wednesday morning, Tyron told T.J. he was considering Notre Dame.
    â€œWhy is that?”
    â€œIshmael says I should think about it.”
    â€œIshmael can go anywhere he wants,” said T.J. while toweling his sweat and

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