she had something profound to say. Her hands rested on my shoulders as she looked directly into my eyes, making sure I understood what she was about to say to me.
"Sure," I said nervously. Whatever she wanted, I knew I would do for her.
"Take a long shower before you set foot in that bedroom. You smell like a French whore." With that parting shot, Rain left me gaping at her as she walked through the access door.
Getting involved with Tanya, even on a purely carnal level, was probably one of the top five stupidest decisions I had made in my twenty-six years. Not only did I regret every encounter, every day, for personal reasons, I couldn't rip her to shreds the way I wanted to because of what it could do for Blessed Tragedy. While I wasn't sure how much power she really had over our success or failure, it wasn't beneath her to remind me repeatedly that our success over the past few years has been partly her doing. I had no doubt many of her industry connections stemmed from her eagerness in the bedroom, but she had managed to get us some pretty sweet gigs.
I had been trying to steer clear of Tanya since that night in Shreveport. She'd taken the hint for about three weeks, but ever since then, I'd been getting text messages at least once a week telling me where to meet her. The tables had turned and I was no longer in control.
Tanya: Marriott, Room 1722. Don't be late.
I wanted more than anything to delete the messages when they came in, pretending I hadn't received them but I knew that was futile. She had pictures of me leaving her apartment and the room at Holiday Inn and a list of threats for what stories she would tell if I didn't take care of her needs.
Me: Not sure if I'll have time. We're cutting it close today.
For three months, I had been sneaking off to meet her as soon as the buses parked. On more than one occasion, Rain made sarcastic comments about wanting a peek at my little black book since I obviously had a woman in every city. I hated myself a little more every time she mentioned anything, knowing she was very aware of what was going on.
Tanya: Fine. I can wait until after, if that's what you need. But you will meet me. It'd be a shame for me to have to hit send on those emails.
Staring at my phone, hoping the right answer would magically appear on my screen, I didn't notice Rain curled up on the end of the couch until I heard her softly sobbing.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I slid closer, pulling her onto my lap. Her sobs shook both of us as she handed me her phone. As I read the email, she watched me through watery eyes as she chewed the corners of her fingernails.
Madeline,
I would have called you, but I never know when you'll be up at the same time we are. Your mom's cancer is back. I think you need to come home when you can. And call her.
~Dad
"Fuck, I'm sorry, baby." I didn't care if Tanya had pictures of me in the middle of screwing her brains out; there was no way I could leave Rain like this. "Did you call them?"
She buried her face in my chest, shaking her head. This wasn't the tough-as-nails woman we'd grown to love. With one message from her dad, she had reverted to the shattered girl she was when she first joined the band. I brushed the ruby curls away from her face, softly kissing her head.
"It'll be okay. Do you want me to sit with you when you call?" What I really wanted to offer was to make the call for her, see how bad things were and break it to her gently. I needed to do something to take away the pain I saw in her eyes. I knew that was impractical seeing as I was just a friend and her family had no clue who I was, but that didn't lessen the feelings.
"No, I'll—I'm—I'll just email him." I had never before seen the light leaving someone's eyes, but that's exactly what was happening with Rain as she sat in my lap. The emerald fire was gone, replaced by such a dull tone it scared me.
It wasn't often that I had no idea what to say, but listening
"Sure," I said nervously. Whatever she wanted, I knew I would do for her.
"Take a long shower before you set foot in that bedroom. You smell like a French whore." With that parting shot, Rain left me gaping at her as she walked through the access door.
Getting involved with Tanya, even on a purely carnal level, was probably one of the top five stupidest decisions I had made in my twenty-six years. Not only did I regret every encounter, every day, for personal reasons, I couldn't rip her to shreds the way I wanted to because of what it could do for Blessed Tragedy. While I wasn't sure how much power she really had over our success or failure, it wasn't beneath her to remind me repeatedly that our success over the past few years has been partly her doing. I had no doubt many of her industry connections stemmed from her eagerness in the bedroom, but she had managed to get us some pretty sweet gigs.
I had been trying to steer clear of Tanya since that night in Shreveport. She'd taken the hint for about three weeks, but ever since then, I'd been getting text messages at least once a week telling me where to meet her. The tables had turned and I was no longer in control.
Tanya: Marriott, Room 1722. Don't be late.
I wanted more than anything to delete the messages when they came in, pretending I hadn't received them but I knew that was futile. She had pictures of me leaving her apartment and the room at Holiday Inn and a list of threats for what stories she would tell if I didn't take care of her needs.
Me: Not sure if I'll have time. We're cutting it close today.
For three months, I had been sneaking off to meet her as soon as the buses parked. On more than one occasion, Rain made sarcastic comments about wanting a peek at my little black book since I obviously had a woman in every city. I hated myself a little more every time she mentioned anything, knowing she was very aware of what was going on.
Tanya: Fine. I can wait until after, if that's what you need. But you will meet me. It'd be a shame for me to have to hit send on those emails.
Staring at my phone, hoping the right answer would magically appear on my screen, I didn't notice Rain curled up on the end of the couch until I heard her softly sobbing.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I slid closer, pulling her onto my lap. Her sobs shook both of us as she handed me her phone. As I read the email, she watched me through watery eyes as she chewed the corners of her fingernails.
Madeline,
I would have called you, but I never know when you'll be up at the same time we are. Your mom's cancer is back. I think you need to come home when you can. And call her.
~Dad
"Fuck, I'm sorry, baby." I didn't care if Tanya had pictures of me in the middle of screwing her brains out; there was no way I could leave Rain like this. "Did you call them?"
She buried her face in my chest, shaking her head. This wasn't the tough-as-nails woman we'd grown to love. With one message from her dad, she had reverted to the shattered girl she was when she first joined the band. I brushed the ruby curls away from her face, softly kissing her head.
"It'll be okay. Do you want me to sit with you when you call?" What I really wanted to offer was to make the call for her, see how bad things were and break it to her gently. I needed to do something to take away the pain I saw in her eyes. I knew that was impractical seeing as I was just a friend and her family had no clue who I was, but that didn't lessen the feelings.
"No, I'll—I'm—I'll just email him." I had never before seen the light leaving someone's eyes, but that's exactly what was happening with Rain as she sat in my lap. The emerald fire was gone, replaced by such a dull tone it scared me.
It wasn't often that I had no idea what to say, but listening
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