Read Bleed for Free Online Page B

door, to harass her, to try and make deals with her, to take her money.
    When she finally did go through with it, I kept my promise and never so much as blinked in her direction again. I kind of regretted making that promise, though. I wonder what it would be like to have a friend like Jessie, if it’d be anything like having an extra Nicole around when you need one.
    I look at the clock. It’s one thirty. Where the hell is Nicole? Sadie peeks up at me from her Game Boy, like she’s enjoying that Nicole isn’t here yet. I guess I’ll give her a call.
    The phone rings and rings, but then it’s the answering machine that picks up. She’s probably on her way, probably just running late. I hang up and glance over at my lunch box. There’s a name tag sticking out. Nicole’s. I try her number again. “Hi, Nicole,” I say, after the beep. “It’s me, Maria. I’m not even sure what time it is, but I didn’t know if we’d be going swimming after we went to the mall, and if I should have my bathing suit… . You’re probably on your way now anyway, so I guess I’ll just bring it in case. I’ve spent all day planning out Kelly’s party and can’t wait for you to hear my ideas. Okay, I guess I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
    I hang up. Leaving the message makes me feel better, like maybe she just fell asleep, and between the phone ringing and my voice on the machine, has gotten up and will be calling me back any minute to say she’ll be right over.
    I decide that when she does call, I’ll need to have that list of party ideas ready. I open up an old chem notebook and start brainstorming on the blank pages in the back.

    I’m actually excited now about the party, about telling Nicole all my ideas. I look at the clock. It’s five minutes before two. What the fuck? Why is Nicole doing this? Why hasn’t she even called?
    I turn my back to Sadie and squeeze my arm hard so that the blood oozes through the freshly crusted slit, like ketchup through used-up packets. I touch the blood, get it on my fingertips, wonder if I’ve bled at least a teaspoon altogether. I squeeze again, waiting for the blood to seep out just a little more. But when it doesn’t, I pick up the phone again.
    “Hi, Nicole. It’s me again. Are you home? It’s two o’clock and I don’t know where you are. You were supposed to pick me up. If you’re in the shower, give me a call when you get out. I really need to see you. I really need to talk.”
    I click the receiver off. I don’t know what I’ll tell her when she asks why I need to see her so bad or what I need to talk about. Usually all I have to do is give the slightest hint that I’m not doing well, and there she is on my doorstep with IOU tickets to Cryptic Slaughter, copies of her favorite books, or a wad of tissues to cry into.
    Unlike Kelly. Not that Kelly isn’t a good friend. We have good times together, she and I. It’s just been different ever since she cut me. Nicole has sort of been the only constant in my life; the only one I’ve ever relied on. Even though she hasn’t cut me yet.
    There’s a knock on my bedroom door.
    Luke.
    “Maria?” he calls, his head turned sideways, his spouty lips just visible through the door crack.
    “Yeah?”
    “Did you want to go down to the video store? Get those movies?”
    My skin ices over. “I don’t know. I might be going out.
    “Well, let me know, okay?”
    “Yup.”
    I pick up the phone, try Nicole’s number again. This time it’s busy. A warming relief. I try again. The machine. “Nicole? Are you there? It’s me, Maria. If you’re home, pick up. I need to talk to you. Please … it’s important. We’re supposed to go out today. Where are you?”
    I wait. And wait. And then the machine disconnects me.
    I can hear Luke pacing in the kitchen, his wingtipped shoes against the cold ceramic tiles. I try Nicole again. This time it just rings and rings.
    No machine. No Nicole. No nothing.
    “You have to leave,” I tell