that since his doctor said he wasn’t allowed any greasy food while he was
in the hospital. He actually contemplated kicking me out but I suborned him
with another sponge bath—worked like a charm.
The week in the
hospital flew by.
Jameson was ... driven. Pushing himself right to the
edge and balancing precariously along it, determined to recover in time for
Bristol. But the thing was, that’s what Jameson was good at, balancing on the
edge of control, determination, anything really.
He wasn’t able to do
much at first but as the days passed, he grew more confident and it was evident
that his body was responding. He had been in excellent physical condition
before the crash, his body honed to a point most people never saw in their
lifetime, and that made it possible for him to recover at a phenomenal rate.
I knew that soon he’d
be getting back behind the wheel of a race car. I was happy for him but the
other part of me ... the part that wanted
the father of our child around for his or her birth, was scared shitless to
have him behind the wheel again.
I don’t think anyone
can ever understand the feeling you get when you watch someone you love almost
die, right before your eyes. It’s indescribable and something I never want to
experience again but I know it will happen.
Besides last Sunday,
the worst crash I ever saw him get into was one at Indy when he flipped a USAC
midget seven times and landed on the guardrail. He walked away from that one
and even laughed about it when he saw the video. He was the only one laughing.
With all of this, I
came to the conclusion that none of it was in my control. I could hover over
him like his mother to the point of driving him insane ... or I could support him and let him know
every day how much I loved him.
Though I knew he was
risking his life every time he got inside that car, it was something he loved
to do and was passionate about.
How could I ever ask
him to give that up just because I didn’t want to lose him?
To me that was the most
selfish thing I could do.
So instead, I told him
every chance I got that I loved him and supported the career he chose, even if
he was out of his mind for wanting to go two hundred miles per hour into a
corner with concrete walls surrounding him.
2. Sway
Bar – Sway
Sway Bar – A bar is
used to resist or stabilize the rolling force of the car body through the
turns.
The days following Jameson’s
release from the hospital were not that enjoyable. Nothing when Jameson wasn’t
racing was enjoyable. He made sure of that.
After we arrived back
in Mooresville where he lived with his parent’s, I called Charlie, my dad, to
let him know I wouldn’t be home until a few days before the modified nationals.
Though Jameson was now the owner of Grays Harbor Raceway, his hometown track in
Elma Washington, Charlie still kept up with daily operation of it.
We knew that eventually
Charlie wouldn’t be in any shape to run the track but for now, having only
months left after the brain cancer had spread, Charlie needed a distraction.
Keeping Grays Harbor Raceway running was that distraction.
Though I felt I had
obligations to Charlie back home, now Jameson needed me with him too. And he
needed me here with him in Mooresville while he recovered. For one he still
wasn’t able to shower on his own and he refused to let his mother help him with
that task in any way, so that left me.
I was happy to oblige.
Why wouldn’t I be?
Jameson was also one
horny dirty heathen by the time he was released. He counted, actually
counted , that it had been five weeks and two days since we last had sex. He was not happy about that. If I was being honest, neither was I.
He complained he had a
constant erection. Naturally, this made me happy. Again, why wouldn’t it?
Aiden kindly kidnapped
Emma and made her stay with him. After she bought Jameson the cougar, he
refused to be in the same room with her.
Emma had