BITTER MEMORIES: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival

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Book: Read BITTER MEMORIES: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival for Free Online
Authors: Sue Julsen, Gary McCluskey
Tags: True Crime, Biographies & Memoirs, Memoirs
fire. We won’t be going back there again.” 
    Every word he spoke was in a matter-of-fact tone with no emotion at all. I began to cry which shortly turned into uncontrollable sobs. I’d already lost Judy, my home, and now Mama. What if I lost Daddy, too? I’d be all alone!
    “Daddy, are you gonna leave me?” I asked between sobs.
    “Of course not, Sarah. We’re a team. I’ll always be with you, baby. Just you and me, forever and ever.” Glancing back at me, he smiled, then continued, “It’s only the two of us from now on, Sarah, so you’ll have to be Daddy’s big girl and take your mama’s place in my life, as well as being my little girl. Do you understand, Sarah? Can you do that for Daddy?” 
    His eyes glistened like dancing stars as he spoke, but I felt too sad to think about anything except Mama, and he asked again, “Sarah, can you be Daddy’s big girl and take care of me like your mama did?”
    Of course, I didn’t understand what he asked of me, but I agreed to take care of him, and with a big smile, he looked at me then turned the volume up on the radio again. For once, I didn’t care about food or anything else. I just wanted to sleep until the pain inside went away. I felt more sadness than I ever dreamed possible in my short three years, but I didn’t know that was only the beginning of much more misery—and pain. 
    We never spoke of Mama again, and after a while I didn’t cry anymore for Mama, or Judy, or my home. There was nothing left, and time had begun to erase any memories of my life back in Lubbock. 
    Daddy mellowed a lot after he told me about the fire and Mama dying. I didn’t understand why, but the farther we got from Texas, the more relaxed he became. Unless he pulled into park-like areas to rest, or those rare stops at a diner, we were always on the road.
    Most of the time we’d get burgers and fries at drive-thru places, but I didn’t care. I was just glad he wasn’t yelling anymore and had started feeding me somewhat regularly.
    I’d usually get to eat once a day, or at least every other day! 
    Daddy promised to get me new clothes and a coat very soon, and he said he’d tell me how to get anything we wanted—anytime we wanted—and we wouldn’t even need money. Then, he laughed so hard tears rolled down his cheeks.
    I didn’t know what was so funny, but I liked hearing Daddy laugh again.
     

 
     
     
     
     
    Six
     
     
    1955 – Lubbock, Texas
     
    Jack sat on the cedar bench whittling on a piece of pine when Henry drove up and parked in front of the house. Henry got out of his car and pulled the collar of his jacket up around his neck. 
    It was the end of November, very cold, and nearing a year since Eli had vanished with Sarah. No one understood how Eli could disappear like he had. Not one solid lead had crossed Henry’s desk in all that time. 
    Jack glanced up briefly as Henry entered the gate and sauntered over to the bench. He sat down next to Jack and, even though he knew the answer, he asked, “Dad, you heard anything?”
    “Not a word, son.” Jack shook his head, not looking up. “The womenfolk are in the kitchen. Violet, of course, is worried to death and her sister still isn’t helping with her take on the situation.”
    He stopped whittling; shook his head again. “I just don’t understand how my daughters can be so mean to each other. You’d think Barbara would want to comfort her sister, but nooo! All she does is argue, making Violet, and your mother, cry constantly. I just don’t understand her, Henry. It’s terrible to wish my own daughter hadn’t come home. I wish she’d just stayed in Dallas.”
    Sitting under the tree was Jack’s retreat from the bickering and sobbing. He didn’t want to make the situation harder on his wife or Violet, and the only way he could hold his tongue was by getting out of the house.
    “Do you have any news, Henry?”
    “No, Dad, I don’t. We haven’t had any responses in months. The APB was

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