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the fact remains that men are allowed
to be overweight and still be considered good-looking. They certainly don’t
suffer the same judgments cast on overweight women. Still, I admit that unlike
Chuck, I definitely was overly overweight. Standing side by side, we were
mismatched. He was a handsome, harried reporter with five-o-clock shadow and a
beer gut. On the other hand, nothing about my appearance could be construed as
sexy. I was obese, weighing in around two-hundred-seventy pounds, give or take
a few. My pants were size twenty-fours. I worried sometimes that Chuck was
going to eventually realize he was way out of my league.
    That said, I knew Chuck wasn’t the type to stray. He’d been cheated on by
a past girlfriend and as a result had the utmost contempt for people who didn’t
have the guts to simply end their relationships before jumping into bed with
the next piece of ass. If he wanted out, he’d just say so – I was quite
confident of that fact. Which was a relief, because I’d seen the twiggy girls
he worked with, and a lesser woman would have been struck with fear at the
thought of her handsome boyfriend spending most of each day with women such as
these. I suspected that one woman in particular, the obits and lifestyle editor
Candace, was just biding her time until the day she could sink her claws into
him.
    Candace seemed to have had a crush on Chuck since the first time I met
her. I was already plugging my way into the two-hundred-pound range when she
and I were first introduced. She’d given me an appraising once-over, and I knew
at that moment I was being judged by a skinny girl. She appeared to believe I
was not a threat. Perhaps she believed Chuck kept me around because he felt
sorry for me, but she certainly acted as though my relationship with him was
temporary, at best.
    At parties hosted by Chuck’s newspaper buddies, Candace acted as though I
didn’t exist. She hung on his every word and found any reason she could to
touch his shoulder or hug him. She laughed hysterically, as though Chuck said
the wittiest things she’d ever heard. Candace and Chuck’s co-workers always
looked embarrassed on her behalf and made increased efforts to engage me in
conversation and make sure I was well-supplied with drink and food. They were
likely trying to distract me from the spectacle of Candace throwing herself at
Chuck, but they needn’t have worried; that’s how much faith I had in my
boyfriend.
    At times I teased Chuck about Candace’s puppy-dog crush on him, and he
always looked properly embarrassed and brushed it off. Still, it had to be an
ego boost for him; she was an undeniable beauty – tall and lean, with a
thick sweep of silky, dark hair, and exotic hazel cat-eyes.
    This was not a girl who’d ever had a weight issue in her life.

THREE

 
 
    “Hello?” she answered breathlessly, as usual. As though she’d been in the
middle of something very important and didn’t relish the distraction of a phone
call.
    “Hey Mom,” I said.
    “Nicole! I was wondering when I’d hear from you. You know I’ve been laid
up with this ankle. I thought you were going to come by to visit.”
    My mother is a true artist of the guilt trip. She isn’t helpless, and I’m
sure she’s got my stepdad, Jim, waiting on her hand-and-foot while she groans
in pain from her ankle surgery two weeks prior. I had visited her twice after
her surgery, but I was apparently not going to get any credit for that.
    “I’ve been really busy with work, Mom,” I answered, which was not really
true, but she didn’t need to know that.
    I heard her sigh deeply. It must be a trial to have such an ungrateful
daughter.
    “Well, what’s going on? Are you coming by?” she asked.
    “No, I need to talk to you. Something … sort of awful happened.”
    “What is it? Are you all right? Are you pregnant? Is it Charles?” Mom had
snapped to attention.
    “No, everyone is OK, it’s just that we were watching the news last