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remember how, and she won't talk about it. I did know I had come in twelfth out of twelve. Kendra Moses probably didn't even know where the crown she'd won was now.
    Except for the rare occasion, my mom accepted me for who I was and for being on the bigger side of life. I loved her for it.
    "Why not? Because I'm me and he's him."
    "Oh, of course. Well, it could never work." The light turned green, and she pulled out onto the road leading to our house.
    "I'm serious."
    "Me too."
    Reverse psychology. Awesome.
    "Brittany, have you ever heard the saying, 'The man who says he can and the man who says he can't are both right'?"
    "You been reading self-help books again?"
    "Nope, someone posted it on the Internet."
    I sighed, knowing exactly where this was headed. Looking down, the big hole in my coat caught my eye. Not wanting her to see that I'd destroyed something she'd spent so much money on, I shifted to the side and eased my backpack back up to my lap. Later, I'd have to figure out what to do about my coat. Did they even have tailors anymore?
    "Do you get what I'm saying?" My mom changed the song to one about being courageous.
    "I get it." I didn't want it, but I got it. "You're saying if I think I'm a loser, then I'm a loser."
    "You get the general idea, Brittany. Don't put yourself down."
    Interesting. I'd heard that twice today.
    "I don't. Not really." Did I? If I did, I needed to change it or change myself. I wouldn't call myself fat if I wasn't fat. Another check in the 'Brittany needs to lose weight before summer' box.
    "I don't want you to hold yourself back because of your weight."
    "I think my weight does enough holding me back as it is."
    Mom flicked her long, straight hair over her shoulder. "That guy didn't seem to think so."
    My attention was definitely piqued. "He was just being nice."
    "Nice or not. He didn't seem bothered by your weight."
    No, he didn't. He hadn't from the moment he saw me. I felt my scraped up knuckles. Caleb had definitely been bothered by it. Bothered enough to push me out of the way.
    "Can we not talk about him anymore? Please. I'm surprised you haven't been more interested in what I learned, you know, instead of who taught it to me."
    "You're right." She smiled. "What did you learn?"
    "I learned about the Pythagorean Theory." I was pretty proud about it.
    "You mean the Pythagorean Theorem?" She chuckled, and I felt deflated. Had I learned it if I couldn't say it?
    ****
    Later that night, I kissed my mom at around eight and headed upstairs to my room to start on my homework. I did have other classes besides Geometry after all.
    I pulled out my English book and laid it on my desk next to my laptop. Opening my computer, I searched for five Twentieth Century poets for a class report. More than likely it would turn into the most boring report known to man.
    Not being able to concentrate, I gave up, visited my social sites for a while, and found something interesting. It was a site on different diets with before and after pictures. The before pictures all looked like me (some even smaller). The afters resembled Kendra Moses. Losing myself in the pictures, I flipped through each one until I had my mind made up. To be healthy — okay, and hot — I needed to lose weight. Only four months would be way too long of time and twenty pounds was not enough. Twenty-five by the end of April would do it.
    How? I didn't want to get a disorder. I only wanted to get smaller quickly. After I wrote down a basic plan, I bookmarked my new favorite site. I shut down my computer, brushed my teeth in the bathroom, put on my pjs, and hopped into bed. After I set my alarm clock for six, I settled in under my covers.
    It had been an interesting day. I started out so aggravated that I had to go to tutoring. Now, I was pretty glad to have it. Not only had I learned something, but Matt Taylor had actually been nice to me. To Big. A banner day indeed!
    God, thank you for taking care of me today. I know I wouldn't have made