Read Big Guy for Free Online Page B

seeing that not everyone is like my own family. That there are other ways to be in the world. That there are choices.
    Gabi’s new girlfriend, the one from Java Joe’s, shows up right after I get there. It’s kind of a relief, to be honest. If I was alone with Gabi, I know she’d have a thousand questions, and really, all I want to do is go to bed.
    In the spare room, I put the torn halves of Ethan’s picture on the dresser, carefully lined up. Then I lie on the bed, thinking about him. I wonder if he’s e-mailed me. I wonder what he said. I hope...I don’t know. That he’s not too hurt. That he doesn’t hate me for doing this.
    Ethan. Mom. Dad. It’s all too freaking much. I imagine my life stretching out ahead of me, a long, endless empty ache. I rummage through my stuff, looking for something to eat, and find a bag of chocolate chip cookiesI took from home. I’m just about to rip it open when I remember old Mrs. Buckley, hiding bits of food in her room. And I think about Dad and his drinking, and Mom and her religious cult. All these ways people get through the days. I stare at the bag for a minute. Then I toss it into the garbage and crawl back into bed. Hot tears sneak out of my eyes and run silently into my hair.
    â€œQuit feeling sorry for yourself,” I whisper. But I can’t. I can’t.
    The next day, I head off to work as usual.
    Francine pounces on me the minute I walk through the front door.
    â€œDerek, can you come into my office, please?”
    My heart quickens. My first thought is that she’s going to fire me, but I haven’t really done anything wrong that I can think of. I sit down and Francine takes her seat behind the big desk. Her face is tight and hard to read. I find myself thinking of Aaliyah. Has something happened to her? Another aneurysm? Can that happen?
    But it’s something else entirely.

Chapter Eleven
    Francine taps her long fingernails on the desk. They’re painted a pale shade of purple and look like Halloween. “Aaliyah’s asked for you again,” she says.
    I nod, relieved. “Okay.”
    She shakes her head, lips thin and tight. “Derek, if there’s something going on, I need you to tell me. Right now.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œI think you know what I mean.”
    I don’t have a clue, so I just sit therestaring at her. Has she found out that I lied on my resume or something?
    She sighs. “I’m not stupid, Derek. All these months of insisting on no male caregivers, and now she’s requesting you every day?”
    The pieces finally click into place. I almost laugh. “You mean...you think Aaliyah and I...No. No. Nothing like that.”
    She just sits there. Flint-eyed. Unbelieving.
    â€œShe’s not my type,” I say stupidly.
    Francine sighs again. “Well, I can’t force you to admit anything, but I’m assigning Paula to Aaliyah for the time being.”
    Aaliyah hates Paula. I don’t say anything but I feel like the room just got ten degrees hotter.
    â€œMrs. Buckley, then?” I ask. My voice sounds flat.
    Francine shakes her head. “She was admitted to hospital last night. Chest infection. Not good at her age.” She shrugs. “Well, there’s plenty of names on the wait list.

”
    I help a couple of older men get dressed. Then I clean up an empty apartment. I don’t know who lived here, don’t know whether they moved out or died. There are some photos taped to the wall and I leave them in a neat pile on the counter, thinking about Mrs. Buckley.
    On my lunch break, I sneak upstairs to see Aaliyah. I know this is stupid, but I don’t want her to think it’s my choice not to see her anymore.
    â€œSo what’s up?” I ask her.
    She looks at me. “You look like crap, Derek. No offence.”
    I laugh but it sounds flat and hollow even to my own ears. “None taken.”
    â€œSo where