perfect — but she said ’til death, and she meant it.”
Kirsten paused for dramatic effect. Telling the story like it was someone else, she was really getting into the narrative aspects.
Also, she was super drunk, Houston and Jack were super hot, and she loved how they hung onto her every word.
“Then,” she said, lowering her voice and leaning forward, “Katie finds the texts .”
Houston and Jack leaned in as well. All their glasses were empty, and a middle-aged woman wailed away at karaoke, but Kirsten had one hundred percent of their attention.
“One of Bruce’s coworkers had sent him ugly selfies of her in matching bra and panty sets,” Kirsten went on. “She didn’t even clean the mirror before she took them, just standing in her bathroom. You could see the toilet plunger behind her, but that’s beside the point. Katie, uh, got pictures of them and showed me, though she had just grabbed his phone to look at a map in the car.”
“Oh, shit,” said Jack.
“What an asshole,” said Houston. “I hope she kicked his ass.”
“Well, Bruce claimed that they were unsolicited, even though he’d responded to them, and even asked for more, and when Katie pointed that out he absolutely flipped his shit .”
“And then she filed?” asked Jack. Both cowboys leaned in, totally hooked on the story of how “Katie” had been wronged, and Kirsten almost couldn’t help laughing.
“No,” said Kirsten, as dramatically as she could. “Katie kept trying for another year, even though half the time, Bruce denied everything, and half the time, he acted like it was her fault for making him turn to another woman, because after all, Bruce was perfect. She only filed when she found more photos of some other woman.”
Jack shook his head.
“Sometimes you gotta cut and run,” he said. He drained the final dregs of his own drink. “Good thing Katie finally got free of him.”
“Oh, that was two years ago,” Kirsten went on. “He’s been dragging it out ever since then. He even got to keep the dog that he gave her for Christmas . But she signed the paperwork last week, so she’s finally all clear.”
“Good for her,” Houston said, his face totally serious. “Sounds like she’s got a good reason to celebrate.”
Kirsten just nodded.
“Another drink?” Jack asked, taking her glass.
“Thanks,” Kirsten said. “Check on when we’re going on, will you?”
“Sure thing,” Jack said. He pushed himself up, scooting out of the booth, and swayed just a little on his feet.
“Whoa there,” said Houston. “You gonna make it up there?”
“Takes more than a little whiskey to sink this ship,” said Jack, winking. “What do you two want?”
“Surprise me,” said Kirsten.
Jack walked back to the bar, only a little unsteady on his feet, and she and Houston watched him as he went. Kirsten was relieved that she’d finally told them the whole awful divorce story, even if she hadn’t technically told them the truth. But it did feel good to hear a neutral third party say that it wasn’t her fault, that she deserved to be free of him.
“You shouldn’t let a drunk Jack pick your drink,” said Houston, leaning back in the booth, his grey eyes flashing at her. “Due to the law of drunken velocity. No, drunken... inertia? Is that the one?”
Kirsten frowned, pretending to take Houston very seriously.
“He doesn’t look too velocitudinal to me,” she said.
“That’s not a word.”
“Sure it is.”
“What I mean is, objects in a drunken state will have a tendency to remain in a drunken state,” Houston said. He looked so satisfied with this proclamation that Kirsten couldn’t help but laugh.
“Also men,” he said, nodding at Jack. “Meaning he’s just going to keep us drunk if we let him get drinks.”
“I’ve got nowhere better to be,” Kirsten said.
Well, besides your bed, she thought, then quickly backtracked.
You have been divorced for one day. Maybe don’t bang the