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What do you say?
    I stared at the message they want to come here? I don’t know about that I don’t want them to see how empty my house is and I know that they will see through it all. But I would like some company. No, I can’t handle the pity. So I wrote back.
                  Would love that but parents are here all day having family time so maybe tomorrow?
    I sent the message waiting for a reply that came quickly.
                  Okay Love well then Merry Christmas
    I started to frown not liking how easy he gave up but deciding it was the right thing to do they shouldn’t spend Christmas here when they need to be with their family.
                  You have a Merry Christmas too, Matty.
    I put my phone down deciding to take a shower get comfy and grab junk food it is time for Christmas movie marathon.
    I turned on the television to Hallmark the place for all the Christmas movies. I was in the middle of watching Christmas Shoes a very damn sad movie. I was so busy crying buckets of tears that I didn’t even hear the people shuffling into the room behind me until a hand dropped on my shoulder making me scream out loud; and throwing popcorn all over the floor.
    I turned around clutching at my heart seeing Matt and the gang standing behind me with a baby. Aww that must be baby Jax- Nate and Janet’s baby.
    “Holy shit you guys scared me to death I think I am having a heart attack,” I said towards them.
    Matt was still holding out his hand, “Sorry love we wanted to surprise you and Elaina here has a spare key so we decided to come see you; we brought food.”
    I smiled at them telling them too sit down and get comfortable. A little while later we were all sitting there watching “Christmas Shoes” me holding Jax who fell asleep and Matt and Elaina on each side of me and Luke, Anna, Janet, and Nate behind us. It was the part where the little boy’s mom is dying and he gives her the Christmas shoes so she can look good for God. I was crying silently watching her take her last breath the one’s she loves around her. I must have made a strangled noise because Matt turned to me wiping my tears away as Elaina grabbed a hold of my hand tightening it in mine; I know what she was thinking she was thinking of her mom dying and of me. I grabbed her closer whispering in her ear as she cried.
    I stood up turning of the television, “So I think it is time for food and some drinks to lighten the mood.”
    They all nodded their heads as we made our way into the kitchen to snack on leftover turkey and tamales from Elaina’s mom.
    Elaina still was looking sad so I kept her talking trying to make her laugh when my beeper started going off reminding me to take my pills. I saw Matt look at me questioningly but I just smiled excusing myself Elaina coming with me. She handed me my water as I took out all 8 pills downing them and trying to stop myself from crying.
    Elaina held me, “So I take it your parent’s didn’t come home for the holidays?”
    I looked at her laughing, “No they didn’t and I am starting to feel really bad I have five months El, to decide if I should live my last year in peace or if I should take the surgery and try to survive or die on the table. I am tired.”
    Elaina gave me a kiss on the forehead, “I know sweetie but let’s get you through this list and then we will worry plus I think Matt likes you.”
    I frowned, “But that is the problem he shouldn’t like me I am as good as dead.”
    Elaina got up pulling me with her looking angry, “Don’t say that you deserve a man like that to love you and you are not dead you my Penny are just starting to live.”
    We made our way back to the others Matt meeting me under the door way stopping to hold my hand, “Are you okay?”
    I gave him a small smile, “Yea I am find had to take my headache pills for the migraines.”
    He looked concerned and ready to say something but couldn’t finish before Anna squealed out loud,