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moves in closer, still holding my arms.  I place my hands gently on the sides of his waist.  He leans in and kisses me.  A soft, sweet kiss.  Promising, but not pushing.  It doesn’t last long.  My eyes are closed as he pulls away a bit and then, running his nose along my cheek, slides his lips up to my ear and says, “Goodnight, Bizzy.  I look forward to our date tomorrow night.”
    I open my eyes and smile at him , softly replying, “Me, too.”  Key in hand, I open my dorm room door and step inside.  I turn and give Jake a little wave.  Once the door is shut, I flip my body to lean against it and rub my fingers lightly against my lips where we kissed.  I can do this.  I can do this if it goes slowly and gently, like tonight. Dr. Matt was right, I moved right through what should have been a panicky moment, using the mantra and knowing that it would be over soon.  Even though, if I’m being honest, I was a little disappointed when it was.  I sigh and get ready for bed—floating on a little cloud of what feels like hope. 
     
    ***
    I love Saturdays early in the school year.  I don’t have to rush out to a rehearsal or dorm event.  That all changes once the fall theatre productions start.  I decided last night when I went to bed that I wouldn’t get up early and I would do whatever I wanted today.   A little girl time is in order.  I want to get my nails done.  I might also have Jules trim my hair and help me decide what to wear tonight.  It’s only a college kegger, but I swear I haven’t been out on a real date in years.  Probably since I was a freshman.  When it gets down to it, Neil never took me on a date. Ever.  It was just furtive hooking up.  What was I thinking ? I force myself to stop pulling up memories about that mess and focus on tonight.  I am going out.  On a real date.  With a sweet guy who seems to really like me.
    Still in my pink and black Hello Kitty pajama pants and throwing on a black hoody, I pop down to the coffee stand and grab three coffees and a scone.  I climb back up to the fifth floor and go to Charlie’s room.  I hope Jules is still there.  She is, still in Charlie’s bed.  He is up and in the shower.  I hand her a coffee and put Charlie’s on the dresser.  I can hear him singin g in the shower.  I think it’s Sweet Child of Mine by Guns and Roses.  This morning, these friends, bring me briefly back to the old Biz.
    Jules teasingly admonishes me, “What, no scone for me?”
    “Like you’d eat it anyway.  I swear you don’t eat, even though I’ve seen you eat.  You and Charlie are the skinniest people I know.”
    “I eat.  Just give me a bite.”  I do.
    “You guys are so skinny, it must be like two sticks rubbing together when you have sex.  You’re at risk of starting a fire.”  I shoot a smirk at Jules. 
    Charlie walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Oh, there is no risk, it’s a certainty. ”  He winks at me and throws an air kiss at Jules, who giggles into her coffee.
    I am instantly red and embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to say it like that. . .crap, you know what I meant.”
    Jules chirps, “Yep, we know.”
    Changing the subject, I ask Jules if she is free for the day and then turn to ask Charlie if I can steal her away for girl time.  She is and he says Boxwood (Hee, hee, he called the band Boxwood) might practice more today, so to go ahead and go do the girl thing with Jules. 
    Once she is finally out of bed and has said good bye to Charlie, Jules arrives at my room.  I’ve changed into some comfortable yoga pants, a t-shirt and hoodie.  Even though it’s getting colder outside I wear my black flip-flops because we are getting pedicures and I don’t want to wear those flimsy ones the y give you at the shop.  We snag a couple more coffees and are off on our day of beauty. 
    I always think I’ll switch it up and get a different color of polish, like pink or teal, but always wind up