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since...”  Her brow furrowed in contemplation.  “Well, let’s just say, a while.”
    Lucy couldn’t believe her grandmother was suddenly modest about her age.  There must be something else to it, something a little lurid, or scandalous, or both.
    Lucy chewed the delicious, if not potent, cake and smiled to herself.  Finally, something nice was happening on her birthday.
    “I almost forgot,” her grandmother chimed.  “Your gifts!”
    A fleeting moment of dread passed through her body.  Remembering the dream she’d had...well, the nightmare she’d had, when she was knocked out at McDonalds.  The not so dead, dead puppy dream. 
    Your gift...
    Lucy shuddered.
    Her grandmother was already up and back with a pretty red and pink gift bag, a small badly wrapped present, and two other boxes with silvery wrapping.
    As long as there’s nothing with a wagging tale in the bag, she would be happy.
    Her grandmother handed her the bag first.  Under the pink tissue paper Lucy found a card with a big heart on it, and Twee ty Bird swinging on its perch in the middle of it.
    It was from her mother, and there was a twenty dollar bill tucked into the card. 
     
    Sorry I’m not there.  Had to pick up a double. 
    Love you sweet girl. 
    Mom.
     
    Lucy set down the card and the money, and then reached back into the bag.  At the bottom was a pair of four inch, pink leather Jimmy Choo knockoffs.  But they made Lucy smile.  They were heels, and girly and something like what she wore when she used to go out on dates.
    “There’s something else in there.”  Her grandmother gave the bag a playful shake.
    Lucy reached into the pink tissue paper again and found a small cell phone.
    “It’s one of those pre-paid phones.  There’s over three hundred minutes on there.  Your brother turned it on for us...”  She halted.  Part of this gift was from her too. 
    Lucy should’ve known that her mother wouldn’t think to get her something practical. 
    “Turned it on for Lila, I mean.”  Having her grandmother call her mother Lila never failed to shock her.  Her father had always called her Elle.
    Daddy...
    She was certain neither of the two remaining presents were from him.  He hadn’t called, written or asked about her the entire six months since his arrest.  And the last time she’d seen him in court, he’d completely ignored her.
    Lucy shook the memory of him as he walked out of the courtroom, in the custody of bailiffs and an FBI agent, from her mind.  How her heart had stopped beating, and she’d dug her fingernails into her palms until they’d bled. 
    Anything not to cry.
    Next was the badly wrapped present—from her brother, Seth.  Under the wrinkled paper was a CD she used to have—Kelly Clarkson.  It had “ Behind These Hazel Eyes” on it.
    So he knows me enough to know my favorite song...  She was surprised.  Too bad I don’t own a CD player anymore.   
    Finally came the two silvery boxes—one long and slim, the other a bigger, almost weightless box.  Both were undoubtedly from her Grandmother.
    Lucy tore into the thin package first, and under the box lid she found a perfectly faded pair of vintage Calvin Klein jeans.
    “Maggie down at Fashion Again helped me find these.  I asked what was the...most chic thing she had for a girl your age.”
    Lucy leaned over and kissed her grandmother on the cheek.  “Thank you.  They’re perfect.”  She noticed that they were her size...her size now, with the five pounds of Big Macs and French fries on her hips and ass—an unwanted bonus from her job.
    She willed what that meant out of her thoughts.  Who cared what size she was?  Not anymore.
    She reached for the second package and tore into it, wanting something to do with her hands as she tried to push all the thoughts out of her head before they made her head too heavy and she couldn’t hold it up anymore.
    She opened the box and looked down at the small, fuzzy key lime green teddy bear