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words were nevertheless clear
enough to him. "I love you too, Elias. I-I just do not understand.
How did it happen?"
    He sighed and shrugged. "I do not really
know. It just did."
    Looking up from his shoulder with red and
puffy eyes, she asked, "When?"
    He wiped a tear from her cheek. "When
what?"
    "When did you know . . . about loving
Albrecht, I mean?"
    He shrugged again. "Almost as soon as he came
to live here, I suppose. I did not understand what I was feeling at
first. I think he knew before I did. It's . . . I can't explain. I
don't really want to explain." His cheeks burned with
embarrassment.
    She put her palm to his reddening cheek.
"Shhh, shhh," she soothed. "You talked to Magdalena," she
stated.
    Elias nodded. He gave a rough laugh. "I
thought I was going to burn in Hell for all eternity. She told us
love is love, that God is love, and all that. I couldn't believe
that the kind of love we had, the . . . well, the physical, cannot
be what she meant. It's one reason he and I wanted to go on the
crusade. The Holy Father said that everyone who made it to
Jerusalem would be forgiven all their sins, past, present and
future."
    She peered into his face, curious. "So you
meant to keep . . . doing whatever with Albrecht, even
afterwards?"
    The look in his eyes was poignant. "Elli, I
love him. I could never give him up. I would rather go to Hell."
His lips twisted in pain.
    "You are not going to Hell. Or if you do,
then I will go there with you and Albrecht. I could not stand a God
who would punish my sweet, loving brother for just doing what feels
right to him."
    Her gaze was so fierce Elias could not help
but grin and then laugh. "Oh, Elli, you are such a termagant. I
think they should send you on crusade. You would frighten the
unbelief out of all the heathens!"
    She looked outraged for a moment, and then
her own face crumpled into laughter. "You go now and tell Albrecht
that as far as I am concerned, I have two brothers."
    Elias feigned horror. "Oh no, that would be
incest on top of sodomy!"
    Elisabeth stepped back and put her hands on
her hips. "Good thing there will probably be more crusades. You two
are going to need it!"

Chapter Three ~ Liebestod

    It took Adalberta over a year to die. At the
end of that hellish period Sigismund stayed in their chamber
sleeping on the floor by their bed, terrified that the last moment
would come when he was out. When they were present to see it, the
twins noted that a constant supply of strong drink went into the
room. They heard not only their mother's whimpering, but also their
father's frantic sobbing prayers.
    Trying to ignore their feelings of guilt, the
twins and Albrecht stayed away from the manor as much as they could
manage to grasp what they could of life together. It would come as
a relief when the loving mother and beautiful woman they remembered
was finally out of pain and suffering. How Sigismund would take the
apotheosis they could not guess.
    One chill evening as they sat frozen both in
body and spirit by the hall fire, the sounds abruptly stopped. The
three young people exchanged frightened looks. Elias started to
rise, but his sister put her hand on his arm. Moments later they
heard booted feet on the stairs.
    Sigismund stood at the foot in the gloom. "I
could not stand it any more. She was in agony. I had to help her
out of it. God forgive me, I had to do it." He teetered backwards,
his back hitting the timber wall behind him. The three he spoke to
jumped to their feet and went to him. He waved them aside. "No,
leave me. Go to your mother's bedside. She is with God now. Now I
must go to church and try to make my peace with Him." He stumbled
to the door of the hall and clumsily pulled it open.
    "Go watch him," Elias said to Albrecht. "Make
sure he doesn't harm himself."
    The younger man looked into Elias's eyes.
Glancing quickly at Elisabeth, he nodded, then stepped forward and
put his arms around Elias. Elias stood still for a moment, then let
his own arms go