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is going on.
    Eckhart Tolle
calls this a new dimension of thought . There is the part of
you who thinks your normal thoughts, then there is the part that
observes you thinking those thoughts. Previously there was only the
thinker. Now there is the thinker and the observer.
    Awakening the
observer is an important aspect of becoming Self-Actualised.
    Mindfulness also
helps you to stop thinking so much about the past and the future by
removing the dimension of time from your thinking.
    In the Now you
observe the world of phenomena in a judgment-free way. You accept
it without mental resistance, understanding that this resistance is
what prevents you from experiencing every moment as the best
moment.
     
On-going choice between safety and risk
    Life is a
moment-by-moment choice between safety (out of fear and need for defence) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): SA people
consciously make the growth choice many times a day.
    If you observe
your own mind in action (as in previous section) you will notice
that this continuum (with safety at one end and risk at the other)
is often active in your thinking.
    There is a dynamic
tension between these two opposites, and you will habitually lean
towards one or the other. If you are like many people, you are
probably inclined towards the safe, low-risk option because you
want predictability with no unpleasant surprises.
    A Self-Actualising
person may still value comfort and security, but they know that
personal growth is slow while they are in their comfort-zone. They
therefore take themselves out of their comfort zone as often as
they can in order to create the right conditions for
Self-Actualisation.
    A life well-lived
will always involve both pleasure and pain.
     
Let your true self
emerge

    SA people try
to go beyond socially-defined modes of thinking and feeling. They
let their inner experience tell them what they truly feel.
    When in doubt,
be honest. It may take some courage, but SA people look honestly at
themselves and take responsibility for who they are and what
happens to them. Self-delusion is the enemy of
self-actualisation.
    If you are
monitoring your thinking and behavior, you might notice that much
of what you think and do conforms to what people expect.
    To the greatest
extent possible, you should listen to what your own intuition is
telling you about people and situations and behave according to
this. As you become Self-Actualised, the voice of your intuition
becomes stronger because you are listening to it more.
    I understand that
we all need to conform, myself included, to certain behavioral
standards to get along in the world. The challenge is finding a way
of harmonising or reconciling what your intuition is telling you
and how the world expects you to behave.
    The idea is summed
up in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, where Polonius gives this advice to his
son; This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must
follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
man.
     
Listen to your own tastes
    SA people are
prepared to be unpopular if necessary.
    The SA person does
not look for trouble, but when there is a conflict between what
they inwardly know is the right thing, and what everyone else seems
to think is the right thing, a SA person has the courage to
disagree with the group and risk their disapproval.
    When we receive
disapproval, it is profoundly uncomfortable. Most of us will do
anything to avoid it. That means compliantly going along in order
to get along. Disapproval is an instrument of control that society
uses to create conformist behavior. Blind conformity is anathema to
the SA person.
    Likewise, approval
is an instrument of control that society uses to create conformist
behavior. The so-called “carrot and the stick” approach to
motivating people are two sides of the same coin.
    The SA person
recognises when the people around them use approval and/or
disapproval to try to influence their behavior. Their challenge is
finding a