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mainly in the crack.
    LEGS: Hairy. Seeing the pattern yet? MEN HAVE HAIRY BODIES.
    Although, some don’t have as much hair (men of some ethnic origins tend to be naturally less hairy). We all have body hair.
    HEIGHT: You’ll get taller, obviously. Short men hate being short, tall men hate being tall. Some women like tall men, some women like short men. Don’t sweat it, you can’t do anything about it anyway. Height is a very geographical thing too. The average height of a man in 2010 was 5ft9 in the UK, but 5ft5 in India and 6ft in Denmark.
    So there you have it. Your body is about to, or already has, done some awesome changing. It’s a magnificent metamorphosis. I bet caterpillars don’t sweat changing into butterflies and we should not worry about changing into men. It’s inevitable. It’s just that the process (much like a newly hatched butterfly covered in goo) isn’t always pretty. The good news is, you have the rest of your life to get used to your new body, and in a few years your childhood appearance will be forgotten lest for hideous and embarrassing school photos.
IT’S GOING TO BE FINE.
     
YOU AND YOUR PENIS
    O ne of the best things about being a boy is your penis. A girl does not have a penis. The penis is the bit that dangles at the top of your legs above your testicles. It is responsible for waste disposal of urine and, more importantly, sex. Hopefully none of that information is news. If it was, man, we have some catching up to do. Here is a very scientific looking picture:

    Thank God we can’t see all that stuff. It’s like a horror film in there. Thankfully, we can see only the good stuff: the penis and testicles.
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    Also, ‘Vas Deferens’ sounds like a sinister James Bond villain, the sort to have a revolving chair and a white cat in his lap!
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    It is healthy from a very young age to see your penis as your best friend. You’re going to be together for a long time so you might as well get along. This might sound insane, but a lot of male anxiety is attached to this vital attachment. As mental as it sounds, many men have an angry, combative relationship with their tool: ‘Why won’t you work? Why aren’t you bigger? I HATE YOU!’ Don’t deny it, you’ve worried about your penis, right? Fear not. Literally every man has at some stage.
    The most famous pervert never to be struck off the medical council was Dr Sigmund Freud. He believed that at about age three we go through something called the phallic stage. He believed this was when boys and girls recognise their bodies are different, and more importantly, that these bits DO STUFF and FEEL NICE. He probably had a point. He said some other stuff too, but it was to do with fancying your mum, so it’s best to move on.
    The fact that your penis DOES STUFF and FEELS NICE will define your relationship with it for most of your adult life. Therefore it is important that you are totally comfortable with this vital piece of your anatomy – in both physical and mental terms.
    First of all, let’s decide on names. Genitals, both male and female, are subject to an array of nicknames, some cute, some offensive, some plain wrong. It’s parents’ fault. Not many parents would refer to a baby’s penis as a ‘penis’, so the identity crisis starts at birth. Let’s save time. For the rest of the book, I’LL call it a penis (or sometimes a dick or a cock for LOLs). See ‘Synonyms for Penis’ at the back of the book.
    That’s all before we’ve even mentioned testicles. Let’s save some time and call them balls. Anything else is wrong, I assure you.
    SIZE: The size of a man’s penis seems to be the epicentre of male insecurity. No other body part inspires such concern. Never have I heard a man fret about his stubby fingers or bony feet. As far as I know, no man has ever approached a plastic surgeon to cure his short neck or wrinkly elbows.
    The thing that seems to haunt men the most is penis size. Worse still, we can’t talk about it.