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tangled mess of worry.
     
    By lunchtime, Darren still hasn’t texted me back.
     
    “You need to eat something,” Noelle says.
     
    I just glare at her. When did I become this girl? The one who waits for a guy to call her? In every relationship I’ve ever been in, I’ve taken control. I’ve led the guy. Even in the bathroom this morning with Darren, I initiated everything. Me. I hate not being in control.
     
    “Hey.” Andy sits down next to Noelle, placing a kiss on the side of her head.
     
    My stomach sinks because I’m not sure I’ll ever have that. Darren can’t walk in here and kiss me. He can’t even eat lunch with me without getting in trouble for fraternizing with the students. It’s clear why he hasn’t texted me. He wants to end this.
     
    “You okay?” Andy asks me. Noelle shakes her head at him, and he pushes himself up from the table again. “Hang on. I know what you need.”
     
    If it’s not Darren, he needn’t bother. But I know what he’s going to do. He’s going to make me an ice cream cone and a mug of sprinkles. It’s his signature dessert. The mug of sprinkles ensures that every lick has sprinkles no matter how much ice cream you eat.
     
    “He’s just trying to help,” Noelle says.
     
    “I know. He’s sweet.”
     
    As Andy returns with my ice cream, Noelle looks back and forth between us. “Oh my God! I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” She doesn’t need to tell me her revelation. I already know she’s figured out that I want Darren to be my Andy.
     
    “Don’t say it, okay?” I don’t need Andy knowing how pathetic I am.
     
    She nods. “Maybe you should text him again.”
     
    Andy shifts uncomfortably in his seat, and I decide to put him out of his misery. “I know Noelle told you about Darren, so you don’t have to pretend you have no clue what we’re talking about.”
     
    His shoulders lower with relief. “They usually overbook the T.As. I’m sure when he’s not in class, he has office hours.”
     
    “But the semester just started. People couldn’t possibly be going to his office looking for extra help already.” Then it hits me. I could go to his office, find out in person if he’s avoiding me, if this is over. I get up. “See you guys later.”
     
    “Good luck!” Noelle calls after me.
     
    I run across campus to the Newman building, hoping that Monahan’s office is in the same building as his class. I look around the lobby for the directional signs they post on the walls and spot a group by the bathroom, which makes me think of Darren. I can almost smell his cologne.
     
    “Can I help you?” I hear behind me. I turn to see Mike, Andy’s R.A. friend that I hooked up with at the social during orientation. His eyes scan the length of my body, and he smiles. “Oh, hey, Julia. I didn’t recognize you at first. How are you?”
     
    “Hi, Mike. I’m good. Looking for Professor Monahan’s office actually. I missed part of class today and wanted to get caught up on the notes.”
     
    His face falls. “Oh…well the offices are down the hall on the left. They’re all labeled so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding it.”
     
    I smile and start down the hall. “Thanks. See you around.”
     
    “I hope so.”
     
    Crap. I don’t want to hurt Mike’s feelings. He’s a nice guy, but all we did was kiss and I wasn’t interested in anything more than that. Not then and definitely not now. I was hoping the feeling was mutual. Guess not.
     
    I pretend I don’t hear him and keep walking to the offices. Just like Mike said, they’re grouped together on the left. Now, if only they were also alphabetized. I weave through a maze of cubicles until I find a door at the back of the room with Monahan’s name on it. Apparently he’s a department head so he gets a real office with actual walls and a door. Lucky him, or lucky me, if I find Darren inside.
     
    I knock on the door, trying to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest. I