Read Before I Wake for Free Online Page B

honey. I’m praying for you all.”
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    â€œIt’s Tonya Hopper calling from CHEK-TV. I was hoping I could have a word…”
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    â€œSimon, Karen, it’s Sheila from the office. I just wanted to let you know how terrible everyone is feeling. We’re all praying for you…”
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    â€œOh my God, Karen, I just saw the paper. Is Sherry gonna be okay? Are you okay? Should I…I’ll…I’ll call you back…”
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    SIMON
    I sat on the edge of the bed, listening to voices I didn’t know, or couldn’t remember. I couldn’t move. Literally could not even shift my weight. Paralyzed.
    The telephone rang, but the sudden noise didn’t startle me. I could easily have picked it up; I didn’t.
    Looking at myself in the mirror on the closet door I noticed the awkwardness of the position I was sitting in, weight shifted to one side, one leg balancing the body, a teetering support that could, at any moment, fall away.
    The telephone rang.
    I felt suspended, outside of time, separated from everything I loved, everything I had worked so hard for, as if within a plastic bubble.
    Untouchable.
    On the fourth ring my voice clicked in, distorted by the answering-machine tape. “You’ve reached the Barretts. Please leave a message…” My voice was cut off by a beep, and suddenly Karen was in the room with me.
    â€œSimon? Simon? Are you there?” In the lengthy pause that followed I watched the red recording light on the face of the machine. “I thought you were going home…”
    The connection broke with a click, followed by a shrill beep as the machine reset itself.
    The room was now vibrant with Karen’s presence. I could see her dressing, curled in sleep around a pillow, nursing Sherry in the chair by the window. Everywhere I looked I saw my wife, and everywhere I saw her, she was smiling.
    My cell phone vibrated against me. I answered it before the second ring. “Simon Barrett.”
    â€œIt’s me.”
    â€œHey.”
    â€œI tried you at home.”
    â€œI’m almost there. Just turning onto Shakespeare now.”
    â€œI spoke to the doctor. We need to talk.”
    I found myself nodding. “Okay, I’ll come—”
    â€œNo. Could we meet somewhere? I should probably eat something.”
    â€œAnywhere you have in mind?”
    â€œMaybe John’s Place?”
    â€œFifteen minutes?”
    â€œI’ll see you there.”
    The silence that followed was a pale shadow of our early days together, when neither of us could figure out how we wanted any given telephone conversation to go, or how it should end.
    â€œI love you,” she finally said.
    â€œI love you too. I’ll see you soon.”
    Karen clicked off.
    After I locked the front door behind me, I lingered on the front step for a moment before walking to the minivan. It seemed bewildering that the air was heavy with spring blossoms.
    Karen was seated at a table in the window by the time I got to John’s Place. I waved to her as I opened the door, but she stared down into the dark depths of her coffee cup. She looked broken. I’m used to that look on people. I see it all the time in clients, the red eyes, the shaking hands, the pale skin. People weak from fighting battles they were unable to win on their own. It was shocking to see it on Karen. Her blond hair so dull, the pallor eating away her usual vividness.
    â€œI’m here with someone,” I said to the waiter as I moved around the few people lined up for tables to slip into the chair across from Karen.
    She looked up.
    â€œIt took a little longer than I thought,” I found myself explaining to her, unable to just sit in the silence. “I checked the answering machine.” I pulled the folded piece of paper from my pocket. “Mostly newspapers, TV, radio. Jamie called. Your mom called a couple of times.”
    Her face brightened