wanted to be a good parent, but he didn’t know how to deal with Wyatt’s situation, whatever it was.
Every holiday season, Wayne mailed a letter along with the family’s Christmas card to friends and relatives. He liked writing the letter. He was proud of his wife and—for the most part—his two boys, and writing the letter gave him time not only to reflect on the past year but to take pleasure in all that he and his family had accomplished and learned. But by Christmas 2000 Wayne was finding it harder to compose the annual missive. How to explain to people—people he loved and admired but who might lack a depth of understanding—about his Wyatt. That he was just a little bit different, but in every other way normal.
2000: Wyatt is still very dramatic. He loves to dress up, play music and wrestle with daddy….For Christmas he wants Yellow Barbie. Jonas is a bit taller than Wyatt. We are not sure why, it is difficult to get him to eat anything but cookies. He still loves his Teletubbies, reading books and helping daddy. For Christmas he wants a fishing game.
Two years later, not much had changed, except perhaps the intensity of the differences between the five-year-old boys:
2002: Wyatt is creative, kind and obsessed with girls….He plays “dress-up” and acts out numerous stories….His girlfriend is Leah.
It was easier to describe Jonas:
Jonas is very analytical. He also never stops talking or moving. His favorite things are action figures, puzzles, the computer and of course pirates.
Wyatt’s favorite things? Coloring, dolls, computer games and puzzles. His favorite story was Ariel.
Feeling stymied at work and realizing there was limited upward mobility, Wayne began to look around for other jobs. In the spring of 2003, with the children in pre-K, an opportunity presented itself: an offer from the University of Maine in Orono, where he would eventually become the executive director of safety, health services, transportation, and security. It wasn’t a huge bump up in terms of money, but a job at an academic institution was prestigious and appealed to Wayne’s love of learning. It would be hard for him to leave the area where he grew up, but he couldn’t turn down the position. Kelly wasn’t thrilled. She loved living in the village of Northville, with the sun-swept views over the lake. One of her closest friends was Jean Marie, Leah’s mother. Leah also had a brother, Wolfgang, whom they called Wolfie, who was a good friend of Jonas’s. Originally from Long Island, New York, Jean Marie was funny, outgoing, and uninhibited. Even with four kids running around, Kelly felt comfortable and relaxed with her in a way that she did with few others. The kids especially liked to act out the books Kelly and Jean Marie read to them, or pretend they were characters from one of their favorite TV shows. Kelly was usually the one who put together the costumes, and Jean Marie provided the sound effects.
The move wasn’t going to be easy for the twins, either. Jonas loved playing in the woods behind the house, and Wyatt enjoyed skipping through the big colorful garden with the stepping-stones that bore the imprints of the twins’ tiny hands and etchings of lady bugs and butterflies. Kelly’s mother, Donna, had recently come to live with them, in an apartment attached to the house, but she wouldn’t be going with them to Orono. She and Wyatt had become particularly close. Together they’d dress up Barbie and comb her long locks or watch
The Little Mermaid.
Sometimes Wyatt would help Grandma Donna water the flowers in the garden. He always felt like a princess there, in his own special kingdom. On the plus side, in Orono the family would be part of a university town, which Kelly hoped would be more inclusive. Maybe it would even help her figure out what she needed to do for Wyatt.
In the meantime, Kelly continued to think about gender. One night, as she was watching the TV news, a story came on about a couple in New
Rebecca Berto, Lauren McKellar