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grandchild until you found Laurelyn and knocked her up."
    Until I knock Laurelyn up. There was a time when hearing something like that would've caused me to lose it, but not today. I'm no longer afraid of what life would be like with a family. I'm way more afraid of what it would be like without one—but particularly without Laurelyn. I know she wants babies and I plan on giving them to her—as many as she wants, any time she's ready. I very much look forward to putting them inside her.
    "It'll be okay. I'm sure you and Emma will make it work just fine with another kid."
    "I know it'll be okay. I'm just panicking because this one wasn't planned. I feel like I've lost control and I don't like it. God, you must think I'm a total dickhead for calling my own kid a cockblocker."
    "I told you I wouldn't judge—and I won't—because I don't know how I'd feel if it were me in your shoes. And we both know you'll love the little cockblocker."
    I wish I were freaking out about Laurelyn being pregnant. At least that would mean I had her with me.
    "Jack, you're going to find Laurelyn and then it'll be you in these anxiety shoes because you don't want to give up that special time with her."
    "I hope I get the chance to panic over it. I really do."
     

     
    I park the Sunset in the garage and find Mrs. Porcelli in the kitchen. "Mr. McLachlan, it's good to see you back. I trust your visit with your family went well?"
    I wish I'd gone to Sydney for a casual visit, but that's not what sent me there. I went for entirely different reasons I didn't wish to discuss, so I lie. "Yes, everyone is well and I had a nice visit."
    "Oh, that's good. I can get you some lunch if you're hungry."
    "Thank you, but that won't be necessary. I stopped at a little café a couple of hours ago."
    As I'm walking out, Mrs. Porcelli calls my name. "Mr. McLachlan?"
    I turn and see a look of uncertainty in my housekeeper's eyes—as if she's searching for the right words to say to me. "Yes?"
    She's wringing her hands like she's nervous. My curiosity is piqued. "I didn't know if I should say anything, but I decided I thought you had the right to know."
    I wait for her further explanation but she doesn't give me one. Whatever this is about, she isn't wanting to tell me. "What is it?"
    "I was cleaning your bedroom and found something of Laurelyn's under the bed. I placed them on your nightstand because I didn't know what to do with them. Throwing them in the trash didn't feel right."
    Ah! A pair of Laurelyn's undies must've fallen under the bed during one of our naughties. I'm sure that's what has this little gray-haired lady blushing crimson.
    "Thank you for letting me know."
    I smile as I walk the hall toward my bedroom. Those will be a nice little memento to have. Hmm…I wonder which pair it'll be? I find myself hoping that it's the white lace ones. I took those off her the day we made love the first time—instead of fucking—the day she told me she loved me.
    I can see from the doorway that it's not the white lace ones; these are colorful. And folded into a tiny rectangle. I can't recall her ever wearing knickers like those, so I cross the room for a better inspection. It isn't undies at all. It's the decorative cloth pouch that houses Laurelyn's birth control pills. I slide the foil package out and confirm what I suspect. This is the pack she would've been taking when she left.
    I sit on the bed, holding it in my hand. Does this mean she's going to be pregnant? It only took Em missing two days—not half a pack.
    I go to the living room and grab my laptop before I dash back to the bedroom. I don't even know what to search. My fingers are trembling as I type what happens if you stop birth control midpack and hit enter. I choose the first result since it looks like a medical site. I scan the article reading a lot of things I don't understand, but then I come upon a heading called "Increased Chance of Pregnancy." That I can understand, so I read because I'm anxious