married and have children, that their dad can be even just half the dad you were. That would be perfection. And I will make sure I make you proud; I will do everything I can to make that happen.”
I sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “And I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for not listening to you about Michael; you did always know what was best for me, and I ignored you. If I could go back now, I would have no option other than to listen to you. I’m so sorry that I didn’t.” I sighed, unsure of what to do or say next.
After a couple moments of silence, I stood and looked down to Dad’s grave.
“Please tell me what to do, Daddy. Should I go or should I stay? Please tell me. Somehow, I need to know.” I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. “I love you to the moon and back. Always have. Always will.”
I blew Dad a kiss and turned and headed back to the car.
“Hi Jo.”
A familiar voice startled me. My head immediately shot up to find Michael leaning against the driver’s door of my car. He had his arms folded defensively across his chest; his expression was wary.
“What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were in Italy?”
“Season’s finished I’m visiting Mum and Dad for a while before heading off to Brazil.”
He had obviously made the squad for the World Cup; however, he wouldn’t be getting my congratulations.
“Move away from the car, Michael.” I stopped just a couple of feet away from him. I hadn’t been near Michael since he visited me in hospital, practically begging me to lie to the police about what had happened, scared for himself more than me.
“I’m sorry about your dad.”
“He hated you,” I spat out.
He nodded and pushed away from the car but still stood too close for me to be able to open the door.
“I deserved that,” he sighed. “But I’m still sorry.”
I started looking for my keys, trying my best to ignore that the man who ruined me was standing only a few inches away.
“How’s New York? You look good.”
“None of your business,” I replied in a harsh tone. “Ruined any more of your girlfriends’ lives yet?”
“I deserved that too.” He nodded.
“Damn right you deserved it. You deserve a damn sight more, too. You ruined my life, Michael; you reduced me into a shell of who I was. And what about poor Imogen? Do you ever think about her and what became of her because of you?” He attempted to answer, but I hadn’t quite finished. “How dare you stand here now and tell me how sorry you are about my dad and think you can speak to me as if nothing ever happened.”
“I’ve changed, Jo; I’m not that person any more, I swear.”
I let out a hard laugh and shook my head.
“It’s true, Jo. I’m sorry, truly sorry, for everything.”
I stepped around him, and as I moved to open the door, his hand grabbed my wrist.
“Get your hands off me now,” I said angrily. My heart started to bang hard against my chest. I didn’t fear him; I feared the memories.
“I’ve never got over you, Jo. I was young, I was foolish. The fame, the money – it all got into me. But what happened – it was a wake-up call. I wasn’t in control then, but I am now, I swear.”
I looked up into his eyes; he was a lot taller than I was, but he had lowered his head towards me. He was still as good looking as I remembered, and I still found myself attracted to him, but the good looks were just a mask, covering up the person that he truly was underneath.
“Someone died because of us, Michael,” I choked out.
“Don’t you think I know that? Every minute of every fucking day I know that.”
“I loved you,” I choked out. “I fell out with my parents because of you.” I took a deep, shaky breath. “And then I ended up in hospital” – I swallowed hard – “because of you.”
I could see the regret in his eyes, but there would never be any turning back.
“I still love you,” he said as I opened the door and went to step in.
Laughing, I shook my head