inside. Good job getting them out. We need to have a talk back at the station.”
“Yes sir,” Michael replied, knowing exactly what it was going to be about.
The ride back to the station was pretty quiet. It usually was after a fire, even if things all turned out okay. The guys generally went through things in their head. Sometimes everyone was still keyed up with their adrenaline pumping, but for the most part , it was pretty calm . Michael was worried about what the Captain had to say. What if he had decided to take him off of the truck? Or even worse, what if he was recommending that he take on a desk job down at headquarters? Michael wouldn’t survive doing a desk job. He’d go crazier than he felt he was right now.
They backed in to the garage and Michael followed Captain Rooker back to his office, feeling everyone’s eyes on him as he did. He knew he had screwed up. He felt bad for almost letting the team down. They were all supposed to click together and he was upsetting the balance.
“Sit down, McGinnis.” Rooker sat on the other side and straightened some paperwork on his desk, his facial expression harsh.
Michael did as he was told and waited to speak up until he knew exactly what this was about.
“You hesitated back there, big time. Did you even realize you did?” Rooker’s brow creased, making Michael feel about five inches tall.
“Yes sir, I did. Not sure why it happened.”
“Well, I do. I think you came back too soon, son. Hell, it hasn’t even been that long. You need to heal completely. And I’m not just talking physically. Your mind is just as important with this job.”
Michael felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. “Sir, I’m fine. It was my first big fire back. I’ll be fine now.”
“I’ve been in contact with Dr. Bowen as well,” Rooker replied, ignoring what Michael had to say completely. “She says you still are having a lot of emotional issues with everything that happened. I know we go through shit on this job. Every single one of us out there on that truck, daily, see things no one else could imagine. It takes a toll on us. The important thing is we push through it. No one’s looking down at you if you need more time off, McGinnis.”
Michael sat back in the chair, unsure of what to say. “Captain Rooker, I assure you that I’m getting better. You mentioning time off actually brings up a question I’ve wanted to ask. My brother is down in Austin at that rehab facility and wants us to com e down for a family week in September . I was leery to ask.”
“I think that’ll do you some good, McGinnis. I can tell he’s a lot of your problem. We’ll make do without you while you’re gone. The time off is granted. Just fill out the paperwork and turn it in to me.”
“I’m only planning on being down there a few days.”
“Take as much time as you need. And between now and then, keep your head on straight and do this job right. I don’t want to take you off the truck, but if you pull another stunt like that between now and the time you go down to Texas, I’ll yank your ass so fast you won’t even know what hit you, do you understand me?”
Michael nodded and stood up. He extended his hand to shake Captain Rooker’s who obliged the gesture. “Yes sir.”
“You’ve always been one of my best men, Michael. Let’s keep it that way.” Rooker averted his attention to some paperwork, which was Michael’s cue to leave. Exiting the office, he felt a slight twinge of relief in knowing he could go down to Austin for a few days to scope it all out, and at the same time, he felt bad for the way the call went.
It had been along day, and was only getting longer with each second that passed by.
***
Michael got home around seven forty five that evening, and was both emotionally and physically exhausted. For the most part, the guys were cool about what happened.